Grounding
by Violet to Blue
Summary: Sequel to Out of Touch. Guilt and self-reproach send Joe into a tailspin of depression. When his conduct threatens to break the partnership apart, Levon gives him a final ultimatum.
1. Chapter 1

Standard Disclaimer: Houston Knights belongs to Jay Bernstein and Michael Butler and Columbia Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended. This is fan fiction, written out of love for the shows. I am making no money off this. I have no money so please don't sue me. Any original characters who may appear in these stories are the property of the author.

Houston Knights Fanfiction

 **Grounding**

By Violet to Blue

Sequel to _**Out Of Touch**_

Summery: Guilt and self-reproach send Joe into a tailspin of depression. When his conduct threatens to break the partnership apart, Levon gives him a final ultimatum.

In the story I refer to the spiritual power and traditional healing skills of the Native American Nations. I do apologize for any unintentional misrepresentation. I do have the greatest respect for their tradition, history and their wholesome view on the unity of body and soul.

 **Chapter 1**

"Bang!"

The sound of the shot was so real that it almost made Levon´s heart stop. For the third time in one night he sat bold upright in his bed, panting and covered in cold sweat. He could almost smell the sulphurous smoke the bullet had left in its wake.

Again his hand went out in search of the lamp on the night stand. Only the light would chase away the frightful dream in which Joe took his own life over and over again. The Italian´s words had burned themselves into Levon´s brain and they were echoing in his ears, though he wished they had only been a dream too:

"Why didn´t you just leave me in that cabin, it would have been better if it had ended there."

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Joe´s escape from the hospital and his attempt on his own life had proved to be a severe setback for his recovery. The symptoms of the concussion had returned with a vengeance. Though the docs were ignorant as to the attempted suicide they had at once admitted Joe to the ICU and that meant that he was now under constant and close surveillance.

Levon was relieved but he knew that the status quo allowed only a small respite. There was more at stake than his partner´s health. The enemy was more lethal than it could be had it been an external one.

For the last twenty-four hours Levon had fought an internal fight as well. He was not sure what to do, he did not know if he could help Joe, if he could bear the responsibility. The only one sure thing was that he must not lose his partner, his friend, his brother.

Their lives were closely connected and even though Levon did not know what was ailing the Italian he knew that Joe´s fight for survival was crucial for both of them. For a long time Levon had denied it, but now he was sure.

There would be no life for him without Joe.

So the next day Levon started to slowly and meticulously seek ways to help Joe out of the seemingly hopeless situation. Even though Levon could not yet see the bigger picture he knew that every small step, every tiny proposal would be a thread in the fabric he had to weave. That fabric would in the end form the lifeline Joe needed, needed to hold onto and eventually pull himself out of the pit of despair he had been flung into after his abduction.

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIX

"Joanne, can we talk off the records?" Levon had called his superior at her office. Due to his injured ribs he was still on sick leave and after he had finished his report on Alvarez´s arrest he had left the office for good.

"Levon, how are you doing?" The question implied genuine worry, that of a former partner as well as that of a concerned superior.

"I´m ok, Joanne. But I want to talk to you about something that needs to remain between the two of us."

There was a short pause, Levon knew that Joanne was wondering what he might want to talk to her about. "Could you come to my place tonight?" she proposed. "Eight o´clock?"

"Ok, thanks Joanne, I´ll be there."

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"When will you be back on the job?" Chicken asked. He handed Levon a plate of freshly barbequed ribs.

"I don´t know yet, perhaps I´ll take some time off after the sick leave." Levon started to eat the ribs.

"What about your partner, is he better?" Chicken picked up the empty beer bottles Levon had finished off already.

"Chicken, if you have a minute…"

The black man frowned but nodded. "Sure, just give me a few minutes."

While Levon finished off his plate of ribs Chicken came back to his table and sat down.

"What´s on your mind, Levon?" The proprietor of the cops´ favorite hangout wiped his hands on his apron.

"Chicken, you said Joe borrowed some money from you?"

"Yeah, was real needy, the boy. I didn´t mean to tell you but when Esteban said he too had borrowed Joe some money I kind of gave him away."

"Not a problem for me, Chicken." Levon wiped his mouth with a napkin. "I would have liked to help him out, don´t know why he didn´t ask me in the first place."

"Well, I remember the last time he borrowed money from you, the two of you almost split up as partners."

"Yeah, I know," Levon cringed. "But that was all more or less a misunderstanding. I´d like to help Joe out this time. How much did you say was it?" He took out his wallet and retrieved three one-hundred dollar notes. "I don´t want Joe to worry about the money, he´s got more important things he needs to concentrate on right now."

Chicken took the money and went over to the counter. He reached into the cash register and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it over to Levon. "Ok, that´s real nice of you, Levon. Give the boy my best wishes for a speedy recovery."

Levon smiled as he put away the borrower´s note. So much for the money problem. Now he had repaid to all the colleagues what Joe had borrowed: Chicken, Annie, Esteban and Carol, all of them had gotten their money back. And each and every one had returned the signed note. It all added up to a pretty penny. Levon wondered how Joe had ever thought he could repay that much money.

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Before heading for Joanne´s place Levon decided to call Greg Willburry in Las Vegas. Though he knew it was a long distance call Levon didn´t care about the cost. He had kept Greg´s number when he had stayed with his former colleague and his wife on his trip to Las Vegas and now fumbled for the sheet of paper. He stacked some coins beside Chicken´s payphone and dialed Greg´s home number.

"Levon, good to hear from you!" Greg´s enthusiasm wasn´t faked. "How are yah doin´? Man, I´ve been thinking about you a lot."

"I´m fine, Greg, hope you and your wife are too?"

"Sure, everything´s ok here. When will you come down here for a real holiday?" There was a teasing tone to Greg´s voice. "With your partner of course this time."

Levon couldn´t keep the smile out of his voice. "Would love to as it is, but yah know there never is time for the pleasant things." He cleared his throat in embarrassment. "I just wanted to know if there was anything new, as to the case I mean."

"With regard to what? We have included all our findings in the report you received." Greg seemed mystified.

"My partner is still looking for that woman, his former fiancée."

"There´s no trace of her, nothing has turned up since the day you left here." Greg seemed almost apologetic.

"No unidentified female bodies that turned up in the desert?"

"I´m glad there haven´t been any, and I guess your partner is just as glad."

"Yeah, you´re right." Levon sighed. But he was torn. He could understand Joe´s anxiety to find out what had happened to Julia.

"You´ll be the first to know if we come across anything, Levon."

"Thanks Greg, you´re a real pal. Best regards to your wife."

"Thanks, I´ll forward them, and take care, Levon."

Levon put the receiver down. There weren´t many coins left but Levon did not notice. Another lose end which lead to nothing.

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIX

Next thing on Levon´s agenda was his talk with Joanne. When he had at last weaved through the thick evening traffic Joanne received him in the garden of her house. Her husband Brad was in the kitchen preparing supper.

"What´s the big secret?" she asked as she handed him a glass of lemonade.

"I want to ask something." Levon did not quite know how to begin. "Would it be possible for someone working under you to take some time off work, I mean unpaid?"

"Are you asking for yourself?" Joanne asked.

"No, it´s just a general question," Levon put in.

Joanne nodded. "Huh huh." After thinking about his question she said: "I can´t really reject such a request. But don´t you want to tell me what this is about?"

"Sorry, Joanne, it´s too early for that. But there is something else."

"What do you want to know?" Joanne felt a bit like pulling teeth.

"If someone in your department was involved in something illegal, something that wasn´t harming anyone but himself and you learned about it, what would you do?"

Joanne swallowed. She had her own suspicions why Levon was asking this. It could only be about Joe. Levon would never get involved in anything illegal. His moral standards were just too high. But until now she had though the same thing about Joe. "I would have to involve Internal Affairs, and the outcome of such a process would be beyond my influence."

Levon nodded, his face thoughtful. "Yeah, that´s what I was expecting."

"You´re not going to tell me what this is about, are you?" Joanne looked at her watch.

"Sorry, Joanne, can´t do. What you don´t know…"

"Yeah, yeah, ok. When do you think this period of leave will come to pass?"

Levon shrugged. "You´ll learn soon enough. I´m not sure yet. Thanks for the talk, anyway, Joanne."

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Levon knew that everything had started to go wrong when Joe had met that woman, the woman from his past. And later Joe had gone back to Las Vegas to find out what had become of her. In order to help the Italian Levon had to find out more about her. Michael LaFiamma had said that Joe and Julia had been engaged to be married. Though they had split up she had still been important enough to him to make him go to Las Vegas to meet her.

Back at the ranch Levon rummaged through his telephone register. He finally found Michael LaFiamma´s number, a number he had presumed only to need in the case of an emergency. Levon hesitated, then decided that what had happened could easily be classified as such. He dialed the number, the phone rang three, four, five times. Levon was already thinking about hanging up when the phone was picked up and a female voice said: "Pronto?"

Levon cleared his throat. "Mam, my name is Levon Lundy, I am…"

"Dio mio, what happened to Joey? Tell me. Why don´t you say something?"

Levon gasped. He had not expected the barrage of words and emotions that flooded his hearing. "Mam, may I ask who´s speaking?"

"I´m Teresa LaFiamma. What´s wrong with Joey, please, what happened to the boy?"

Levon knew that Michael LaFiamma´s wife Teresa had been like a mother to Joe after his own mom´s death.

"Please, Mam, calm down. Joe is fine." Levon knew this was a lie but he wouldn´t get the information he needed from a totally upset Italian matron. "He had a small accident, but he will be ok. But that is not the reason I am calling, Mam."

"Oh my God. What happened?"

"Oh, nothing serious, Mam, just a minor traffic accident. Joe is in hospital but only with a concussion and some bruises."

"Oh no, how often have I told him to be more careful? We always feared he would end up like Jimmy Dean one day." Levon could hear Joe´s aunt blow her nose noisily.

"Mam, could I perhaps talk to your husband?"

"Oh, Mr. Lundy, I am so sorry, my husband is on a business trip to New York."

Levon hesitated. But then the reason for all this had been a matter of the heart, hadn´t it? And those matters of the heart were the domain of women. Before Levon could voice the question, Joe´s aunt beat him to it.

"Perhaps I could help you, Mr. Lundy." The female voice reflected authority, determination and at the same time worry and love.

"Yes, well Mam, perhaps you actually can." Levon smiled.

"Of course, Mr. Lundy, I´d be glad to help."

"I was wondering if you have been in contact with Julia Disanto, or if you have heard from her." Levon hoped his request wasn´t too bold.

There was a small pause at the other end of the line. Then Teresa LaFiamma cleared her throat. "Do you know what role Julia played in Joey´s life?"

"Yes, Mam, your husband told me that Joe and Julia were engaged to be married. He also told me that they split up when Joe became a cop."

"Si, Mr. Lundy, that´s exactly right." Levon could hear that Joe´s aunt drew a deep breath. "But I am sorry, I can´t give you any news. I have spoken to all the women who went on that trip to Las Vegas. None of them knows what happened to Julia. Did Joe ask you to call?"

"No, Joe doesn´t know about this." Levon knew that he could not tell Teresa LaFiamma why he had called. But again she surprised him.

"Joe went through hell when he and Julia split up back then. But he saw no other way. He is a lot like his father, even though he was still very young when his dad was killed." She sighed. "Same stubbornness, but too damn sensitive for his own good."

"Yeah." The approval slipped out before Levon was aware of it.

For a moment there was silence.

"Mr. Lundy, is Joey really ok?" There was deep worry in the voice of the seasoned Italian matron.

Levon hesitated. He knew he had to respect Joe´s privacy, he couldn´t tell his family about his addiction. Yet this woman, who had been mother to Joey, had detected Levon´s worry for his partner, his brother. "Joe hasn´t been doing too well since he has returned from Las Vegas." Levon almost wanted to bite his tongue.

"I knew it," Teresa LaFiamma said calmly. "I knew that someday there would be repercussions, the old wounds would be reopened."

For a moment neither of them spoke.

"Listen, Mr. Lundy, I will try to talk to Julia´s father and to her sisters. If I learn anything I will call you or Joey at once."

"So you don´t think Julia is dead?" Levon was torn between hope and fear for the young woman he had not even met.

"No, I don´t think she is dead. She´s smart enough to have planned her escape. She knows the ways of the mob and she certainly wouldn´t take unnecessary risks. And you let me know when Joey needs help, you hear?"

Levon´s smile was reflected in his answer: "Yes Mam, I will."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Joe seemed to be asleep when Levon entered the hospital room. The Chicagoan looked tired and there were dark rings under the closed eyes. Looked like he didn´t sleep well here either. The bruise on his forehead had turned from blackish blue to greenish yellow.

Quietly Levon set down the bag of clothes he had brought from Joe´s apartment. Then he opened the locker that was supposed to hold the patient´s property. Joe´s suit was on a hanger and as Levon took it out he noticed the dried blood from the nosebleed. He would have to take it to the cleaner´s.

Cautiously Levon looked through all the pockets. He hadn´t found the package of pot in Joe´s apartment and he seriously doubted that Joe had disposed of it before he had been involved in the accident. Joe had most certainly rolled that joint with part of the pot from that dreadful package, but where had he put it after that? When Levon was about to put the suit into a plastic bag his fingers touched a bulge along the waistband of the trousers. He put the bag down and turned the trousers inside out. There was a small pocket and when Levon´s fingers slid inside they retrieved the package of pot.

"What do you think you´re doing with my stuff?" Levon felt Joe´s breath in his neck and the whisper was menacing. He turned around to find his partner standing behind him. When Levon moved to stash the package inside the breast pocket of his jacket, Joe´s hand shot towards it. On reflex Levon pushed his partner back towards the bed, hitting the bruise on Joe´s chest hard. The Italian gasped as he staggered backwards and half sat on the bed, clutching his chest and panting. "You can´t…" he pressed out between clenched teeth.

"The hell I can," Levon replied. He had not meant to hurt Joe. "You can´t seriously expect me to hand over those drugs to you, not after what happened." He held Joe´s gaze, noting the flaring anger and pain in his partner´s eyes.

"Give me back that package," Joe hissed, his eyes narrow.

"Are yah crazy? I´m seriously beginning to doubt your mental sanity. I thought you wanted to be out of here. Or should I rather tell the doc about your attempt on your own life? Maybe a spell on the closed ward will help you come around." The words had slipped out pretty much on impulse. Instantly Levon wanted to bite his tongue.

Joe looked shocked. After an instant he pulled himself up onto the bed and reclined with a moan. When he lay supine he turned away from Levon, indicating that he wasn´t willing to talk to the Texan

Levon stepped up to the bed. "I´m sorry, Joe. I didn´t mean to hurt you." He reached for Joe´s shoulder. The Italian turned away even further.

"Ok, have it your way," Levon sighed and sat down on the chair beside the bed. "I´ve brought you some clothes. Thought you wouldn´t want to wear the bloody suit when you got out of here."

Joe turned back towards him. "What do you mean, out of here?"

"The doc said you could leave."

"Slowly," Levon added when Joe almost jumped off the bed. The Chicagoan stripped off the hospital gown and got hold of the bag Levon had brought. Though he raised an eyebrow when he pulled out a pair of jeans, he inwardly rejoiced at the sight of his favorite night blue shirt. Quickly he pulled up the socks and slid into his loafers. After three steps towards the door he turned around to face the Texan. "What?" The question rang out like a shot, clipped and sharp.

"Joe, we gotta talk." Levon picked up the bag with the suit and got up.

"I think you´ve said enough. There ain´t a thing we need to talk about," Joe spat out sarcastically. With that he headed down the corridor and out of the hospital.

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIX

"So what? I´ll be off for another three days and then I´ll be back to work. That´s all there is to it, everything will be back to normal." Joe slumped down on the couch in his apartment. He put on an expression of indifference.

"That´s not how I see it." Levon had taken care to enter only a step behind his partner. He knew Joe was in a foul mood and so Levon had not wanted to take any chances to get locked out again.

"How do you see it then, if you don´t mind telling me?" Joe said with a sarcastic tone.

"The way you handled that arrest could have gotten us both killed." Levon said the words without the slightest hint of reproach. Instead there was disappointment in his soft voice.

Joe looked at his hands and blushed. "Yeah." There was a long pause. "I´m sorry man, I didn´t mean for you to get hurt."

"Nor did I want you to get hurt in that accident. You´ve been pretty careless." Levon held Joe´s gaze with his eyes now. "And I know that I can´t go on working with you if you don´t get a handle on that addiction of yours."

"It´s not an addiction. I just took the stuff because I couldn´t sleep." Joe jumped up and started to pace the room.

"Now where did I hear that before?" Levon did not sound triumphant nor did he look it. "Who do yah think you´re foolin´, Joe?"

"I´ll pull myself together." Joe looked insecure. "And if you don´t want to go on working with me as your partner I can understand that. You can ask the Lieutenant to be partnered with someone else."

Though Levon wasn´t sure if it had been a flicker of anguish he had seen in Joe´s eyes, he hoped that now was the right moment to make the younger man see reason.

"You´re not going to work with anyone else either, Joe," he said matter-of-factly.

Joe´s eyes grew narrow. "Are you threatening me?"

"No, I am just telling you what I have thought about these past few days. I have come to a decision."

"And you think that your decision is something you can force on me?" Joe laughed sarcastically.

"Yes, I do," Levon said calmly, his voice hardly audible. "You have two options."

"Go ahead, amuse me," Joe snickered theatrically.

"Option one." Levon sat down on the couch and set his hat crown down onto the coffee table. "You go on as before, buy pot and have a smoke every evening. You think no one will notice. But I will tell the Lieutenant that you are an addict and that I can no longer work with you. I will tell her that you took the pot from Alvarez. You will lose your job. You will not be a cop anymore."

Joe´s jaw dropped. He couldn´t believe what he was hearing. "You can´t…"

"I will also tell her that you tried to kill yourself."

Joe swallowed hard. "If you don´t want to work with me anymore, then why didn´t you let me go through with it?" Joe´s hand went to his eyes. He turned his back to the Texan. He couldn´t let Levon see the tears that shot into his eyes, tears of sheer despair. His chest felt constricted and all of a sudden he felt again the urge to get away from it all.

Strong arms got hold of him and pulled him down onto the couch. "I couldn´t let you kill yourself because you are family to me. You are my brother, Joe, don´t yah know that?" Levon´s voice was soft, yet sincere. The words he had kept to himself for so long were finally out. He felt relieved.

Joe shook with sobs he couldn´t suppress. He tried to turn away from Levon to hide his face. But as the Texan pulled him back to face him, Joe gave in and sank against his partner´s shoulder.

"Please help me." The cry for help mixed with a sudden hiccup.

"I will do all I can, I promise. All I want is to help you. I want you to be well and whole and happy again. But it´s not all up to me. You gotta try too."

Joe drew away from Levon and wiped his eyes. "I tried, really, I did. I don´t know what´s happening to me." He drew a ragged breath. "I feel like I´m losing all control, like my life is slipping away from me."

"Joe, you can´t cope with all this alone." Levon tried to steer the conversation into the direction he had planned afore hand. "You need to see a specialist about this."

Joe´s eyes went wide. "I´m not going to a shrink, if that´s what you want." He jumped up and headed for the door. For an instant Levon was too stunned to react and Joe was about to storm out the door in what seemed a spontaneous flight. Joe opened the door and hurriedly stepped outside into the corridor.

Levon regained his wits and sprinted after him, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him back. "Think, just for once think straight, boy," Levon hissed in a low voice as the door to the building somewhere below them fell shut noisily. Startled Joe halted. Levon seized the chance to steer him back inside and close the door behind them.

Though Joe tried to free himself from Levon´s grip he was in no shape to do so. After a short struggle he slumped down on the couch and turned away from Levon, hiding his face in the sofa cushions. Levon bent over him and stroked Joe´s back, soothingly whispering: "Joey, please, don´t throw both our lives away."

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Joanne looked at her watch. It was close to eight in the evening on this Thursday and she was the last officer present in the Major Crimes Unit. She was tired and she wanted nothing more than to head home. But Levon had called her and begged her to stay till after all the colleagues had left. Levon and Joe were both supposed to be back on the job on Monday. But after Levon´s call Joanne had her own misgivings about her formerly best team resuming duty as planned. She just hoped she wouldn´t have to wait too long. With a sigh she resumed reading the report that was lying in front of her.

Another ten minutes passed before she heard the door to the bullpen open. When she looked up she saw Levon enter with Joe in his tow. Levon´s step was firm as he headed for her office door. Joe, on the other hand, was quite obviously dragging his feet. When Levon had reached the door to Joanne´s office he nodded a greeting and turned back to his partner. Joe had slowed and at last stopped altogether, and he looked at Levon with a pleading look. Joanne could not see Levon´s reaction, nor could she hear the words he said to Joe in a low but adjuratory voice. Then he stepped past Joe and headed for his desk where he sat down, ostentatiously turning his back to the Lieutenant´s office door.

Joe had followed him with his eyes. Slowly he turned back to face his superior and hesitantly stepped through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

For a moment he just stood there.

"Don´t you want to sit down, Joey?" Joanne´s voice was soft.

"Yeah, well," he cleared his throat as he lowered himself into the chair in front of the Lieutenant´s desk. As he uncomfortably sat on the edge he fumbled for a folded sheet of paper in his breast pocket. It was a bit creased and he tried to smooth it, then handed it to Joanne.

She took in the short text and signature and over the rim of the paper studied the Italian. The young detective seemed tense, his gaze was turned downwards and he was nervously biting his lower lip. Joanne´s gaze travelled to Levon and back to the Chicagoan.

"And you think I will grant your request for a month of unpaid leave?" she asked probingly.

Joe´s head snapped up, his eyes wide. "I knew you wouldn´t…"

"You´re mistaken, Joey. I will grant your request. I just want to make sure that you will put that time to good use." She tried to hold Joe´s gaze and read his face. "I hope you´re not planning to go to Chicago?" Everybody knew that the hit on Joe hadn´t been cancelled yet.

"No, no, Lieutenant, of course not."

She nodded. "I assume you´re not willing to tell me what you need the leave for?"

Joe looked down, ashamed. "Sorry, I can´t." He had blushed slightly but the color on his cheeks could not conceal the pallor that contrasted with the dark shadows under his eyes and the unhealthy yellowish remains of the bruise on his forehead.

Joanne leaned forward. "Joe, I know you messed up that arrest, and I also know that Levon is covering for you. But I can´t take any chances with a cop on my team who endangers the lives of his fellow officers." She could see that her words hit the mark. Joe looked deeply distraught, he could not meet her eyes. She almost feared that he would start crying. To ease his anxiety she added: "I don´t want to lose you, Joey. Whatever happened, I still want you to be part of my team."

For a while Joe just sat there without looking up. Joanne waited. Then he finally drew a shaky breath. "Yes, thanks Lieutenant. I really want to come back and rejoin the team." As he looked up he realized that she was nodding. "I will try and do everything that is necessary to come back as soon as possible."

Joanne smiled reassuringly. "That is good. I am looking forward to having you back with us."

Her reassurance seemed to ease Joe´s insecurity. He tried to return the smile a bit sheepishly. Finally he got up. "Thanks, Lieutenant." He pulled out his badge and lay it in front of her. Then he turned around and walked out, stepping up to Levon from behind. The Texan looked up and they exchanged a few words. Levon got up, while Joe waited beside the chair Levon had just vacated. Levon walked to Joanne´s office. Stepping inside he produced from his jacket Joe´s set of automatic pistols. He lay them beside his partner´s badge.

Joanne looked at her former partner in disbelief. The hunch she had felt for some time now seemed to be confirmed, yet she did not dare to dwell on the matter any further. After what seemed to be an eternity she picked the weapons up and deposited them in the top drawer of her desk, turned the key and slid it into her pocket. Then she looked up and met Levon´s gaze. He nodded in agreement, then tipped his fingers at the brim of his hat.

He was about to turn around to walk out when she addressed him. "Levon, when will you be back?"

He looked surprised but suddenly realized that he had not told Joanne anything about his plans. "Sorry, Joanne. I would like to take the next week off, if that is ok, Lieutenant?"

"Not more?"

"No, just one week," Levon confirmed.

Joanne nodded. "That´s ok with me." She was relieved. She wanted to ask him what was going on, but she knew that he wouldn´t tell her anything. So she just watched as Levon returned to his desk. He lay a hand on Joe´s arm and nodded. Then the two men headed for the door of the bullpen and were gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Why do you think that of all people this woman will be able to help me?" They had been driving for over an hour before Joe spoke to voice his reservations.

Levon kept his eyes on the road. "Well, I can´t rightly say. But she is special, always had a sixth sense for people and an innate, or you could even say, almost unearthly ability to help others, just like her granny."

Joe did not answer. He disliked immensely that other people might try to tell him how to lead his life. "What did you tell her about me?"

"Nothing in particular, just that you´ve kind of lost your footin´." Levon tried to sound casual. He knew that he wouldn´t want anyone to talk about his private problems to a total stranger either. On the other hand he had to admit that he saw this as a chance for Joe, the last chance to get a handle on his problems without involving an official institution.

They rode in silence for a while before Joe spoke again. "I still wonder why you took over all my depts. I remember a time when you wouldn´t have trusted me with a single dollar."

"Would you have preferred it if I had called your uncle and asked him to borrow you the money?" Levon shot his partner a sidelong look. As expected, Joe´s expression darkened. "You wouldn´t dare…"

"I think you should trust your family more, they really care about you…"

"How do _you_ know?" Joe´s gaze was menacing first, then disbelieving. "Don´t tell me you called them." Had Levon not been driving, Joe would certainly have grabbed him by the collar.

"Cool it, boy, I didn´t tell them anything about the mess you got yourself into. I just wanted to know if they had heard anything from Julia Disanto."

The mention of that woman´s name alone was like a stab into Joe´s heart. Levon could see the shadow pass over his partner´s face before the Italian turned away to look out of the window. "What did they say? He asked in a low voice.

"Nothing, I just got hold of your aunt and she hadn´t heard from Julia. She also said she had spoken to the other woman who travelled to Las Vegas with Julia and she promised to speak to Julia´s sisters."

"And?" Joe could not hide his anxiety.

"Sorry, she didn´t come back to me, so I guess that she had no news from any of them." From the corner of his eye he saw Joe sink back into his seat. "But I take it as a good sign. Julia probably managed to cover her traces perfectly."

Joe didn´t answer. He was torn between hope and despair. Of course he wanted to believe that Julia was safe and sound. But he couldn´t shake the gnawing feeling of guilt. Deep down inside he feared that his own levity had not only jeopardized himself and Julia but had also sabotaged her plans to escape.

"Greg Wilberry didn´t have any news either, meaning no female body turned up in Las Vegas," Levon said in a light tone, intending to make it sound casual.

Again Joe said nothing. He knew that if the mob wanted to get rid of someone, that person would vanish from the face of the earth without a trace.

For a long time each of the two men followed his own thoughts. They had almost reached their destination when Joe quietly resumed speaking. "I feel so guilty about what happened. I fear that with my carelessness I have endangered Julia´s life. I can´t shake the feeling that they took her." His voice was thick with emotions.

"But your aunt said that Julia is familiar with the ways of the mob. She was absolutely sure that Julia got away." Levon tried to gauge if his words had the desired effect on Joe. "It´s really no use contemplating what could or couldn´t have happened. You know that hindsight is twenty twenty." Levon wanted to help Joe get over these negative feelings, but at the same time he wondered if Joe gave a damn about his opinion.

"Yeah, tell me all about it," Joe said sarcastically, directing his gaze away from his partner and again out the window.

Though it seemed that Joe was looking at the landscape, Levon knew that the younger man´s thoughts were miles away.

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With a sigh Lexie´s gaze wandered across the back yard. How was she supposed to get a grip on the overgrown mess she was facing? She had come here somehow in between jobs in order to sort out her grandmother´s things. Ok, it was more that she had fled from her last job and actually she tried not to think about the reason behind it. Now she wanted to think about her future and leave an unpleasant experience behind. And then there was the question of what to do with her grandmother´s house.

The honking horn made her turn and walk through the small house and out the front door. A large red car, some kind of station wagon had come to a halt in the drive way. The guy immerging from behind the wheel was without doubt her old childhood companion, though over fifteen years had passed since their last encounter.

"Levon, good to see yah," Lexie stepped up to the blonde and Levon drew her into a tight embrace.

"Lexie, yeah, great to see yah too. How you´re doin´?" The blonde´s face split with a genuine smile as he held her at arm´s length to take a close look at her. Lexie returned the smile. Then Levon turned back and opened the backdoor of the car, taking out a small suitcase. "May I introduce Joe LaFiamma."

The passenger door opened and a young man stiffly climbed out, standing beside the car hesitantly. Lexie stepped towards him, reaching out her hand. "Welcome, I´m, Lexie Johnson." With only the slightest trace of reluctance he took off his sunglasses and slid them into the breast pocket of his jacket before reaching out his hand to take hers. As their eyes met Lexie discerned an air of despondency that shadowed the handsome face with the stunningly blue eyes. But in the blink of an eye the face became strangely impassive and Joe turned back towards Levon to take the suitcase from his partner´s hand.

Curiously Lexie watched as the two men faced each other. "I´ll be staying at Mother Minnie´s place for a week," Levon said. Only a tiny nod indicated that Joe had registered the remark before he turned away and headed for the front door of the small house.

Levon met Lexie´s gaze and shrugged, then tipped his fingers to the brim of his hat. "Thanks, Lexie, call me if anything comes up, will yah?"

"Sure Levon, don´t worry."

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Lexie looked at her watch, it was beginning to get dark. Cleaning up the house all day she hadn´t had enough time to prepare a decent lunch and her growling stomach was making itself known. Her new cohabitant had, after only briefly inspecting the small room that was allotted to him, usurped the porch swing. As Lexie opened the screen door she could read the resigned stance in the slumped set of the young man´s shoulders.

"Do you want to join me for supper in the kitchen?" she quietly addressed him.

His head snapped up and he turned his face towards her. His eyes were large and dark in the waning light of the early evening. "Thanks for the offer but I´m not hungry. I´d rather go to bed, if you don´t mind."

Lexie nodded. "Yeah, sure." Levon had told her that his partner suffered from severe insomnia. So going to bed would almost certainly not bring about the desired sleep. However, retreating into his room was most likely the young man´s strategy to avoid her company. She didn´t mind. It would probably take a few days for Joe to settle in at her place. Until then she would just stand by patiently.

As Joe passed through the screen door and disappeared into his room with a mumbled "Good night," Lexie headed for the kitchen. While preparing her food her mind wandered back to the day exactly one week ago when the phone had rung and it had been Levon. He had wanted to speak to Lexie´s granny and when he had learnt that the old woman had just like his own grandmother passed away a few months ago, he had condoled her on her relative´s death.

After a few words referring to their mutual childhood, school years and current careers, Levon pointed out why he had called. Thinking back she couldn´t really say why she had agreed to the whole arrangement. After all Levon had wanted her grandmother to help him and hadn´t even expected her to answer the phone in the old woman´s stead. After listening to what Levon had on his mind Lexie had on impulse agreed to help nonetheless.

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The creaking of the wooden floorboards woke her. Lexie froze, her heart painfully beating against her ribs. She feared that "he" had found her despite all the precautions she had taken. Then the thought of a burglar crossed her mind. But even that was preferable to meeting "him". Then, to her relief, she remembered that she wasn´t alone in the old house. Her gaze went to her alarm clock, it was three thirty. Now that she was awake she might as well follow the call of nature. She slid out of bed, put on her dressing gown and went to the bathroom. On her way back she noticed that the door to Joe´s room was open. She peeked inside, the bed was empty. Where had he gone?

It wasn´t really a surprise to find him on the porch, again sitting on the swing, in sweats with a blanket around his shoulders. The sound of the opening screen door made him look up.

"Did I wake you? Sorry, I didn´t mean to…" There was a note of contriteness in his voice as he met her gaze.

"No, don´t worry, I have a light sleep." She stepped past him and looked at the night sky. The moon was almost full and therefore the night wasn´t really dark. "I come out here quite often at this time of night. I love to listen to the sounds of the night." She turned around and faced her guest. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"No." After a pause Joe added: "I´d rather appreciate it. To me these sounds are a bit…" a lopsided grin tugged at on side of this mouth, "…a bit intimidating, I have to admit."

Lexie smiled. "What, no wolves or crickets in the streets of Chicago?"

"No, just squealing tires and neon lights." Joe made room on the swing for her as she sat down beside him. For some time neither of them said anything.

When Lexie reopened her eyes the sun had come up and she realized that she must have nodded off quite a while ago. She felt warm and cosy, Joe´s blanket covered her and warded off the cold of the early morning air. She stretched and yawned. From behind the screen door she heard sounds emanating from the kitchen and the smell of breakfast. Perhaps it wasn´t so bad to have a cohabitant after all.

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"So you´re not living here permanently?" Joe asked.

"No, I am basically here to take care of my granny´s things. She walked on a while ago." Lexie spooned some of the fresh fruit salad Joe had prepared into her mouth.

"Walked on?" Joe looked sheepish. "What´s that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, it means she passed away. It´s an expression commonly used by the Native American Nations when someone died," Lexie explained.

"Oh, I´m sorry, Levon didn´t tell me." Joe thought for a moment. "You mean your grandmother was a red Indian?"

"Yeah, she was a member of the Native American Nations." Lexie savored the fresh coffee.

"Aren´t you a red Indian then too?" Joe seemed genuinely amused.

"Yeah, I´m a descendent of the legendary Akokisa tribe."

"Never heard of them, are they famous for anything?" Joe took a sip from the fresh orange juice he had made.

"Yeah, they are famous for performing ritual cannibalism," Lexie stated dryly.

Joe´s eyes went wide and he drew a deep breath, forgetting the orange juice he had just sipped and at once battling with a massive coughing fit.

Lexie couldn´t help but laugh. "No, sorry, that was a joke, the Akokisa are extinct, but they were in fact cannibals and they lived in the region around Houston and in the Galveston bay." She got up and handed Joe a towel. "My ancestors came from several tribes in Texas which were driven from their land."

Joe wiped his mouth and started to mop up the juice he had spewed across the table. He tried to clear his throat, feeling embarrassed and foolish for his own reaction. For a while he fell silent, wondering if what he had just learnt had anything to do with his being here.

Lexie didn´t say anything either and so they finished their breakfast in silence. When she started to clear the table she casually addressed him as if he was spending his vacation at her place.

"What do you want to do today?"

Joe looked up in surprise. "Well, I thought…don´t you have anything planned for me?"

Lexie smiled at him reassuringly. "Well, I thought it would be best if we get to know each other more closely first." When Joe still looked unsure she added: "I didn´t expect you to spill out all of your problems the minute you arrived here. I just want you to settle in and feel comfortable."

"And after that?" Joe had risen from the table and handed her his plate and cutlery.

"Well, I hope you will tell me what´s ailing you and then I will try to work out how to help you."

When Joe averted his gaze she feared that she had been too direct with her answer. After a moment he looked up again and now his glare was furious and belligerent. "And what qualifies you to give a judgment on that matter?"

Lexie tried to keep her face neutral. She had been aware that this subject was bound to surface. Her reply was casual: "I´m a doctor, didn´t Levon tell you?"

She could see that the answer took Joe completely by surprise. His eyebrows went up and his jaw dropped open. But then he closed his mouth, his jaw set tightly. The expression on his face spelled out betrayal. He turned around and walked out, heading for his room, and with a loud slam the door banged shut.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

What had made her think she could handle this in the first place? Lexie wiped the sweat from her forehead and looked at the mess in her grandmother´s garden. She had planned to give the place a work-over in order to gain a better price when selling the house and plot. But now she was beginning to doubt that she could do it on her own.

She lifted her arm to swing the axe at the stem of a dead tree but she had misjudged the weight of the tool and was pulled backwards. She felt herself lose her footing and stumble, then suddenly the weight was gone and she was caught against something towering over her from behind.

"Ho, easy! Don´t you think you´re a bit too small for that axe?" She turned to look into Joe´s face. He had caught the axe and held it away from her, his expression somewhere between a laugh and a frown.

"Thanks," she uttered breathlessly. "I didn´t realize it would be so heavy." Her dirty hand went across her face again and the streak it left made Joe laugh out after all.

He weighed the tool in his hand. "I bet it ain´t as light as a Akokisa war hatchet," he said with a grin. "What did you think you were doing with it in the first place?"

"Well, I need to give this wilderness a trimming. If I try to sell the place like this I will probably get a lot less for it."

Joe thought for a moment, his gaze wandering over the plot. "I could help you, don´t have anything else to do with my time." He looked unsure all of a sudden. "If you tell me what to cut down, that is. I´ve never worked in a garden before." He seemed kind of embarrassed admitting to the fact.

"Yeah, that would be great actually!"

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They had, however, to solve a few obstacles before they could start working. Lexie rummaged through the house in search of some old clothes for Joe to wear. At last she came upon a large box with what appeared to be clothes from another time altogether, probably of her granddaddy. Shoes didn´t turn up. So Joe donned the checkered shirt and washed out denim trousers. Lexie´s granddad must have been a giant, the garments were more than oversized. Joe took it stoically, he just rolled up the sleeves, stuffed the shirt into the trousers and rolled up the trouser legs. With a sigh he put on his running shoes and tied the laces.

When he stepped out into the sunshine Lexie smirked.

Joe ignored her. "Where do you want me to start?" He got hold of the axe and exercised some swings.

"Wait!" Lexie disappeared into the house and returned after an instant. She flung an old straw hat at Joe. "Put this on, it´s too hot to work in the sun without protection."

He did and seconds later the steady beating of the axe echoed though the grounds.

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Slowly but gradually the garden changed its appearance. While they both worked side by side, Lexie surreptitiously watched Joe. Though the oversized clothes hid the true outline of his frame, she could tell that his muscular body was well trained. He was strong and though he said he had never handled an axe or a spade before, he put the tools to good use. Yet she perceived an underlying weariness in the young man, a nuance in his stance when he thought she wasn´t looking. And then there was the zeal with which he went about the task, as if some innate force was driving him excessively. When Lexie came to think of it she resolved that Joe probably tried to keep himself from brooding by the activity. From her practice as a doctor she recognized his behavior as typical for someone with a depressive affliction.

The afternoon was well advanced and Joe had made short work of most of the dead trees. Lexie was about to pack in when she heard a muffled cry from behind her. She turned and realized that Joe had been the one to cry out.

With one stride she was beside him. "Joe, what´s wrong?" Her voice mirrored genuine concern.

Joe was stooped over the spade, his right hand pressed against his lower back, moaning. "Shit, ooah, I can´t straiten my back." He tried to come up but another stab of pain made him stay down.

"Easy, don´t rush it, take it slow." Lexie´s hands cautiously slid over Joe´s back, probing and testing. When she couldn´t make out signs of a slipped disk or anything equally serious, she was relieved. She could, however, feel the tension in Joe´s muscles. With a few skilled strokes she eased the worst of the cramps. "Now try to straighten your back, slowly."

Cautiously Joe came up, his face still showing his discomfort. He took a deep breath. "Wow, I guess I should call it a day." He rubbed his lower back and tried to stretch first to one side and then the other.

"Listen, I´ll run you a hot bath. That will ease some of the tension. And afterwards I´ll give you a therapeutic massage." Lexie took the spade from Joe´s hand to carry it to the shed.

Joe looked meek. "You know how to massage?" He felt every movement. When had it started? How could it be that he hadn´t noticed until now? With an enormous effort he finally managed to straighten fully and dragging his feet he headed for the house.

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Wow! Lexie blinked. That was a sight to behold.

Joe was lying on his bed, face down, wearing only boxers. The association that came immediately to mind was that of a Greek statue. Lexie stepped up to the bed and lightly touched Joe´s shoulder. The skin was warm from the hot bath. She got hold of a bottle of body oil and spilled it generously onto her hands, then started to run them over the smooth olive skin of shoulders and upper back. Joe groaned.

"Are you ok?" Lexie asked, feeling the tension and hardness in the otherwise well trained muscles.

"Yeah, don´t worry, I´m fine." As she worked one hard knot in his shoulders after the next, Joe felt inclined to squirm free of the merciless and powerful kneading hands. It took a while before he was able to relax.

When Lexie had given Joe´s upper back a thorough workover she moved further down. With a casual "You don´t mind, do you?" her hands slid down and ran over his lower back, getting hold of his boxers in order to pull them down.

"No!" With a cry of anguish Joe rolled onto his back, pulled himself up and almost jumped off the bed. His face was a mask of pain and fear, his eyes large and dark in an unnaturally pale face.

The drastic reaction took Lexie totally by surprise. "Sorry, I didn´t mean to…"

"What… what do you think you´re doing?" Joe stammered, awkwardly trying to cover himself with the blanket. The pallor on his face was replaced by a fiery blush of embarrassment.

Lexie wondered what this was about, whether this was a repercussion of the trauma Joe had suffered from. Levon had told her about the abduction and the injuries Joe had sustained as well as the subsequent sickness.

She thought for a moment, then probed: "Isn´t it more your lower back that´s bothering you?" She eyed the hunched figure on the bed with the skilled scrutiny of a physician. She was pretty sure there was more to Joe´s reaction than just his shamefacedness.

"Look, Joe, it doesn´t make much sense to stop the massage at your waist. The muscles of your back run all the way down into your buttocks, and those connected to your sciatic nerve even run down to your knee." She wondered if he was really listening. He seemed more like a scared animal caught in the headlights of a car.

He looked down, unable to meet her eyes. "Sorry, I know you want to help. It´s just…" He drew a deep breath. "Ok, but could you… could you start out a bit…a bit more gentle?" His voice was pleading.

"Yeah, of course, don´t worry. I´ll be real careful." She smiled at him reassuringly.

Joe lay back down on the bed, reluctant but no less determined to go through with this now. He felt ashamed for his own reaction, couldn´t quite make sense of his feelings. As Lexie once again hovered over him and very gently ran her hands down his back, Joe´s hands first clawed the sheets, then slowly relaxed and opened. The further down her hands moved, the gentler she went about. First she felt him squirm under her touch, then he finally gave in with a sigh. When she at last slowly and not without announcing it pulled down his boxers to start working his buttocks, Joe let it happen.

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Lexie silently went about the kitchen. She dumped a load of potatoes into the sink and washed them under running water. Then she took a knife out of the drawer and started to peel the spuds.

"Let me do that for you." Joe took knife and potato from Lexie´s hand as he stepped up behind her. Surprised she turned around. He was wearing sweats. "I´m a good cook."

"Joe, didn´t I tell you to stay in bed?" Lexie wiped her wet hands on her apron. She eyed him.

"Why, I´m not sick. I can do this." He smiled and but then his expression turned recalcitrant.

"You might not be downright sick, but you´re not well either. And the massage gets your body to work hard. The lymphatic drainage I´ve administered is quite challenging for the body too. You mustn´t underestimate this." She looked at him worriedly.

"Ah, no way. I can handle that. I´ve never had problems with a massage or anything similar." He took the knife and potato and started peeling. Lexie sighed. At last she took an apron from the hook and tied it around Joe´s waist.

"But it is all the more efficient when you put in an adequate period of rest after the treatment." She wasn´t willing to let it go yet.

Joe ignored her remark and went about his task.

Then the phone rang in the hallway.

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First there was only a pronounced and noisy breathing.

"Who´s speaking?" Lexie tried to keep calm, but she instantly felt her heart fluttering against her ribs.

"You little Indian slut, do you think you can get away this easily?"

Lexie felt her knees go week, it could not be true. This was all a bad dream.

"You´ll make up for this, I swear you will, you damn whore."

Lexie smashed the receiver onto the cradle. Her hand trembled as she tried to compose herself.

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Joe felt tired all of a sudden, more than he had expected. But he couldn´t admit to this now, could he? Was Lexie right after all? He perked up his ears and tried to follow the telephone conversation in the hall. But Lexie hadn´t said anything except an introduction phrase. The second the call ended Joe´s attention was drawn to the sudden narrowing of his vision. The knife dropped from his hand and so did the potato. He tried to hold on to the sink. But the tunnel vision worsened and his knees buckled. When he slid down to the floor he was already swallowed by a grey cloud of unconsciousness.

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Lexie had, at the last moment, been able to prevent Joe´s head from hitting the hard kitchen floor. Her own shock over the menacing call and Joe´s blackout made her heart leap and pound like a sledge hammer. She found herself sitting on the kitchen floor with Joe´s head in her lap. Her hands were trembling as she searched for his pulse. It was a bit fluttery, but nothing out of the ordinary. She sighed.

Her hand went up to the towel hanging beside the sink. She pulled it down, bunched it up and cautiously lowered Joe`s head onto it. Then she looked around. A large cardboard box she had used to transport the groceries from the supermarket caught her eye. She lifted Joe´s legs and shoved the box underneath his calves. She soaked a tea towel with cold water and pressed it to Joe´s cheeks and forehead. After an instant he started to stir and moan. He opened his eyes and tried to sit up.

"Easy, stay down for a bit." Lexie held him down by the shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"A mite dizzy, what happened?" At last he pulled free from her and sat up nonetheless.

"I wished you had followed my advice in the first place, you could easily have cracked your scull on the floor going down like that." Lexie did not want to sound reproachful. Still she felt she had to make her point.

Joe looked at her and realized that she looked shaky. "Sorry, I didn´t mean to frighten you. I never had any such problems after a massage before."

Lexie was startled, but then she understood what he was aiming at. "No, no, it´s not because you fainted. It´s just…" she didn´t want to voice her fear of the eerie phone call. She left the sentence hanging in the air. "Come on, you should get to bed, you need to rest, just as I told you before." She got up and pulled Joe up with her. "Can you stand?"

He staggered to his feet and shook off her hands. "I can handle this, don´t worry, I´m not an invalid." His feelings were, however, quite contrary. He felt a heatwave seize him and the room threatened to start spinning again. But he followed her to the small guest room and sat down on the bed. He looked up at her standing in the doorframe. "What?" When she didn´t move he added: "I can manage from here."

Lexie shrugged, turned around and left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

How had he found her? Lexie shuddered. She had left her last employment head over heels. The affair with Jake had started out as overwhelming and breathtaking. After a while she had wished for more, for a more permanent relationship. Jake had been a committed colleague, caring and trustworthy. First Lexie had been reluctant to fall for a colleague. But then the attraction had been so strong, their encounters so rewarding. She hadn´t experienced anything like it before. She had been so happy.

After a few weeks Jake had coaxed her into moving in with him. And at first it had felt good, natural, like they were meant for each other. The first two months passed smoothly. But then, gradually, Lexie became aware of a strange pressure. Jake was watching her, she felt the need to defend her actions and justify her reasoning, something she had never felt before.

For some time she tried to shrug off the strange feeling of being monitored, secretly watched and even stalked to a certain extend. Jake became more reproachful by the day, at last he wouldn´t let her go anywhere on her own. All of a sudden he questioned her independence, stated that if they were to share a life they might as well do it all the way. After that Lexie had felt stifled.

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It was again the creaking of the floorboards that woke Lexie. Only this time she was seized by a nameless terror at the sound and she feared her heart would stop right there and then.

He had come for her!

She jumped out of bed so quickly that she felt acutely dizzy. For a second she held on to the bedpost and drew a shaky breath. Easy, she scolded herself: Don´t lose your head like this. On bare feet she cautiously left her room and headed for the main door. She was relieved to find it locked. She turned around and headed for the back door. In passing she noticed that the door to Joe´s room wasn´t closed, she pushed it open wider and again found the room empty. The back door wasn´t locked and when she stepped outside she could see Joe hunched in the corner of the porch swing.

"Joe, please come inside."

He looked up in surprise. "Why?"

"Just because, please." There was something in her voice he hadn´t heard before. Fear?

"You didn´t mind last night, did you?" Joe´s tone was slightly belligerent.

"Joe, please, just do it." The pleading note and the slight quiver in her voice made him frown. He hesitated but then got up and stepped back inside without another word.

But he didn´t head to his room. Instead Joe entered the living room and heavily slumped down on the couch. After locking the backdoor Lexie followed him and as she switched on a small lamp on the sideboard she took in the image before her. Joe looked tired, dark rings were lining his eyes. He was massaging his right elbow and forearm with his left hand. She briefly reflected on the fact that Levon had entrusted this young man to her care and that he was a soul seeking help. All of a sudden she wasn´t sure she could give this young man what was necessary, what only a week ago she had thought would be easy to provide. But she was the one in charge, the one who had to take the initiative.

"Joe, what´s bothering you?" She stepped up to the sofa, her feet bare, she was only wearing a large T-shirt.

Joe looked at her for a moment. "What makes you think that I´m the only one who´s bothered by something?"

Lexie smiled. She knew Joe was right. He seemed to have a sixth sense for what was going on. "Well, Levon brought you here to get better and he´s counting on me to get you back on your feet." She looked down at Joe and the direct eye contact seemed to recharge her batteries. This was her purpose in life, she could feel the instant connection to the lost spirit of the young man. She sat down on the sofa beside Joe. "Let´s start with you, what´s wrong with you?" She knew she risked that he would clam up but she also saw it as a chance to turn the conversation into the right direction.

The pleading expression on Joe´s face made her realize that he was willing to open up, but though he was at a threshold he seemed unable to cross it alone.

"I can´t sleep, haven´t in weeks. I feel so worn out, I really just want to lie down and sleep… or just as well have it over with." The remark was made quite casually, but Lexie knew at once this was where the true root of the problem lay.

"What about the drugs?"

Joe looked up, surprised, as if caught red-handed. "All I ever took was a little pot, and just to be able to sleep." It came across as the usual excuse.

"When did you last take any?"

"About three weeks ago." The young face was earnest and Lexie believed him.

"Did you suffer from any withdrawal symptoms?"

The subject was painful for Joe. He didn´t like to discuss it. So he just nodded at first. "But they are supposed to have passed by now."

"I don´t want to disillusion you but I have to tell you that you haven´t seen the end of it yet."

Joe looked up belligerently. "I´m not going through any more of that shit."

"Joe, that is not up to you. If you really want to quit the habit there´s no way around it."

When Joe did not answer, she added: "So I guess you´re not willing to quit…"

"No!" Joe´s retort was almost violent. "I wish I had never touched that stuff, of course I want to quit." His face was contorted with anger and despair alike. "I just don´t know how. What other reason should there have been to try to kill myself?" The instant he said it, he realized he had made a mistake. He had assumed Levon had told Lexie about the attempt on his own life. But her face gave her away, she had had no idea.

"Levon didn´t tell me any such thing. But it certainly makes things easier to know about it." She thought for a moment. "By rights I should deliver you to the next hospital with a closed ward. But I guess if Levon didn´t do it then he had something else planned for you."

Joe looked intimidated, he knew where he would end up if Lexie decided to hand him over into the care of a hospital. He could hardly fight the urge to jump up and run.

Lexie saw the distress in his eyes, once again the eyes of a frightened animal caught in the head lights of a car. She reached out and gave Joe´s arm a comforting squeeze. "Don´t you think it is time to speak about it?"

As their eyes met, Joe nodded slowly. Then, reluctantly at first, but with an inherent and uncontrollable urge he started to tell his story.

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"…and the docs said you are ok now?" Lexie had listened without interrupting for long stretches, just putting in the occasional question now and then.

Joe nodded absentmindedly, his thoughts still lingering somewhere along the line of events he had recounted. "Yeah, I was supposed to be back on active duty yesterday. But Levon forced this leave on me…" His voice was slightly slurry with tiredness and his hand wiped across his eyes.

They had talked for a long time. Lexie´s eyes wandered to the window and on the far horizon she detected the first light of the rising sun. She tried to concentrate, tried to memorize every word Joe had said during those past hours. She would have to write it down immediately. What he had told her was too important to let it slip from her memory. She looked back at Joe and realized that he was watching her.

"Breakfast?" he asked and suppressed a yawn. "I could do with a really strong coffee."

She almost laughed. "Not for you, Joe." When he raised an eyebrow, she added: "You´re off to bed."

"Don´t waste your effort, I told you I can´t sleep," he said in a resigned tone.

"That´s what you think. But I will prove otherwise."

"How?"

Lexie got up and went to the kitchen. She filled a kettle with water and set it to boil. From the cup-board she retrieved a jar and with a spoon she measured some herbs into a cup. While she waited for the water to boil she peeked back towards the living room, making sure Joe was still sitting on the couch, obviously deep in thought. Quickly she turned back to the cup-board, took out two small glass vials and dripped some drops of fluid from each into the cup before stashing the vessels away again. She knew the light sedative would not harm Joe´s health even though his doc had said he was not supposed to take any sleep-inducing drugs. On the contrary, it would help him get some much-needed rest. The second substance was a medication used by the Traditional Chinese Medicine to start the process of thoroughly expelling the poisonous remains of the drugs from Joe´s system. Lexie had used it frequently and with good results in the clinic she had last worked in.

When she returned to the living room with the cup of tea Joe had closed his eyes. She lightly touched his shoulder and he started up.

"To bed with you," she said with a smile.

"Ok mom," he answered, a small boyish grin curling his lips. He got up and took the cup from her hand. Taking a sip he headed to his room.

When Lexie looked in on Joe ten minutes later she found him fast asleep, the empty cup stood on the nightstand. Quietly she closed the door. With a sigh she sat down at the kitchen table and opened a notebook, picked up a pen and started to write.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

She was about to finish when a sound made her look up. Joe was standing in the doorframe and something about him struck her as odd, though at first she couldn´t put her finger on it.

"Are you ok?"

Joe said nothing.

Lexie put down the pen and closed the notebook. She looked at the clock on the wall. Joe must have slept for about two hours. "Hey, you needn´t get up so soon," she said.

"I, I…" Joe looked pained and his hand went down to his belly. "I don´t feel so well… I don´t know why…oooaaaa….." he groaned, bending over slightly.

Lexie jumped up. Shit, she thought, acutely realizing what was wrong. Joe was downright green in the face.

Joe turned around and staggered towards the bathroom. Lexie was on his heels, but as soon as he entered the small room he turned around and slammed the door into her face. She jumped back at the last second, barely saving her nose from catching the blow. She perceived the clicking sound as Joe locked the door from the inside and almost simultaneously she could hear that he started retching.

What had gone wrong? Joe was a big guy and the dosage of both meds she had administered had been small. There was no way she could have known he couldn´t put up with it.

"Joe, open the door, please." She put her ear to the door and heard him moan. "Joe, I want to help you…"

"I don´t need your help. Oh God." There was a pause and Lexie could hear the unmistakable sounds of sickness from behind the door. "Leave me alone…" Joe´s voice broke. Straining Lexie could hear him utter through clenched teeth: "Go away, just go away."

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Lexie waited. Patiently, but worried nonetheless. While condemned to inactiveness, she wrecked her brain for a remedy and at the same time she reproached herself for acting carelessly. She was a doctor and healer, just like her granny. She should have been more careful. But how was she to know that Joe was hypersensitive to one of the meds, or maybe the combination of both.

It was another hour before Joe opened the door. He was almost crawling out on all fours. When he noticed her standing above him he looked up meekly. "Don´t go in there. I promise I´ll clean up the mess later…"

Lexie bent down and pulled him up. "Don´t be a fool Joe, it´s not your fault." She pulled his arm over her shoulder and supported him while she led him to his bedroom. Joe slumped down on the bed. He rolled to his side, trying to evade her gaze. But Lexie held him back by the shoulder. He moaned and closed his eyes.

She scanned his face. He was unnaturally pale, his face was sweaty and his hair sticking to his moist forehead. She felt his pulse, it was fast. Her hand went to feel his cheek. His temperature seemed normal, she asserted with relief.

The light touch to his face made Joe open his eyes. "I have never felt so sick before, never in all my life." He wiped his face. "I really don´t understand what brought this about."

Lexie felt guilty. It had been her fault. She had misjudged, and what weighed even heavier, she hadn´t told Joe what she had planned to do to him. Now that things had gone wrong she wondered if she should tell him. But before she had made up her mind Joe beat her to it. The emotions playing across her face must have given her away.

"What did you do to me? It was you, wasn´t it?" He sat up and looked at her suspiciously.

"Sorry, yeah, you´re right," she said contritely. "I was my fault. I put something into your tea…"

Joe almost jumped out of bed. "You did what? Are you nuts?" He looked around as if searching for a way out. "What is this? An Indian way to prepare me for one of your cannibalistic rituals?" His face showed outrage, disgust and more than just a trace of fear.

Lexie swallowed. The allusion to the cannibalistic traditions of her Indian ancestors would have been funny, hadn´t Joe´s reaction to the substances been so severe. Now all she could hope for was that he hadn´t totally lost his trust in her. "Joe, I´m really sorry. I had no way of knowing that you would react like this. Normally those meds don´t have any negative effects."

Joe drew up his knees and winced at the pain in his bowels. "I should have stayed in the bathroom," he moaned. "I thought I was about to die."

Lexie got up, went to the kitchen and quickly filled a hot-water bottle. Back at Joe´s bedside she handed it to him. "Put this on your tummy, it will soothe the cramps."

Joe did as she had said, then looked at her with an embarrassed grin. "I´m afraid I can´t clean up the bathroom right now." He yawned and his expression grew more grave. "Do you think I could go back to sleep? I feel completely tuckered out. And after that I´d like to go home. I think that´s only fair after what you did to me." His voice got slurry with sleep and his eyelids dropped.

Lexie covered him with a blanket. She felt desperate about the wasted chance. What possibility to help Joe did she have now that she had gamed away his trust. For a while she watched his face and only minutes later his breathing became deep and regular with sleep. She quietly closed the door on the sleeping man and headed straight for the phone.

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Lexie avoided breathing in too deeply. The bathroom proved to be a mess. Joe had puked into the bathtub, probably when a violent bout of diarrhea had forced him to take to the toilet at the same time. The toilet looked non too clean on account of that. It was no wonder Joe had felt totally humiliated and embarrassed. Lexie put on a pair of rubber gloves and made ample use of the disinfectant.

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Levon wondered if he should go back to Houston. Though he was used to being on his own, staying in his grandmother´s house felt strange, now that she was dead. He had wanted to do some cleaning and sorting but in the end he hadn´t been able to bring himself to go through his granny´s things. Everything was laden with memories, memories of his childhood, his youth and even of his early years with Caroline.

When he tried to tear his thoughts away from the past and back to the present they automatically drifted to Joe and their partnership which was hanging by a thread. And this subject wasn´t one to put him at ease either.

At last he decided to go out for a beer or perhaps something stronger. He grabbed his jacket and opened the door, being stopped in his tracks and almost bumping into his granny´s neighbor.

"Hi Levon," the old woman drawled. "I didn´t know you were here but the girl said so."

"What girl?" Levon looked perplexed.

"Lexie. Didn´t you hang out together all the time before you met Caroline?"

"Yeah, Lexie. What´d she want?"

"Oh, just said you should call her. You can use my phone, boy." The old woman beckoned invitingly.

"Thanks, Mrs. Baner, that´s right nice of you. But I was just about to go over to her place when you came," Levon lied. This was the opportunity he needed to get away from Mother Minnie´s house. He drew the door shut behind himself and was gone.

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"Hey, that was quick," Lexie said in astonishment. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and threw the rubber gloves, she had just shed, into the bucket at her feet.

Levon looked at her in puzzlement. "Did I disturb something?"

"No, not at all. Joe had an accident and I just finished cleaning it up."

"What?" Levon looked incredulous. "What kind of accident?" He couldn´t make sense of Lexie´s allusions. "I was on my way out for a beer when my neighbor relayed your message. Anything wrong?"

"Yeah, well, it´s kind of complicated. I could do with some help. And I guess Joe could do with some moral support. Beer´s in the fridge. Get into the living room and I´ll join you in a minute."

Levon nodded and strolled past her toward the living room. Joe was nowhere to be seen. Levon shed his jacket and put the hat crown down onto the sideboard. As he slumped down on the couch he noticed the harsh smell of disinfectant.

Lexie came in, a bottle of beer in each hand. "Here, do you want something to eat?"

"No, now you tell me what happened." Levon held Lexie´s nearly black eyes.

And that was what Lexie did.

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"I know I made a mistake. Joe said he wants to leave. Then the whole stay would be a failure right away. I am not sure how to lead him through the detox process now." Lexie sighed. "I need your help." Lexie looked at Levon with pleading eyes.

"Well, I wouldn´t see it that drastic. Joe might be pissed, but deep down inside he knows that he has no other choice." Levon hoped he was right.

When a sound made them look to the door and they perceived Joe standing in the doorframe, Lexie hoped this wasn´t a déjà-vu. But Joe blinked at them, rubbing his eyes, then he yawned.

"Levon? It´s good to see you. How did you know…"

"Well, I was in the neighborhood and thought I might as well see how things are," Levon lied.

"Things…" Joe frowned. "I guess Lexie filled you in on the *things* that happened." He sounded slightly sarcastic. He slumped down in an armchair and his gaze travelled to the clock on the wall. "I feel a mite hungry. Mind if I fix myself a sandwich?" His remark sounded casual. When he caught the glance Lexie and Levon exchanged he uttered sharply:

"What?"

Lexie was carefully searching for words. "Joe, we need to talk about the detox."

"What about the detox?" Joe was riled. "You seem to forget what you put me through today. Right now I only want to eat something. And then I´ll be out of here. Where´s the problem?" Joe jumped up and started pacing.

When he passed the couch Levon held him back by the wrist. "Joe, calm down, Lexie´s only trying to help…"

Joe slapped the hand away. "Yeah, by now I got an idea what sort of help that is…" He was out of the room before Lexie or Levon could react. They looked at each other, Levon shrugged. Joe´s temper tantrums weren´t totally unfamiliar to him. When they heard the front door open, however, both Levon and Lexie jumped up and went after the Chicagoan. Levon caught up with him just outside the front door and he got hold of Joe´s right arm, accidentally straining the younger man´s sore elbow.

"Ouch! What do you think you´re doing?" Joe dropped the small suitcase from which some of the quickly gathered clothes were hanging.

"And where do you think you´re goin´?" Levon drawled placatively.

"That´s none of your business," Joe fumed, massaging his elbow and lower right arm. "Everything is better than staying here."

Lexie stepped up to them. "Don´t you think we should take this back inside, boys?"

She had no way of knowing that the word "boys" would normally make the partners side with each other. But this time they didn´t. She just wondered at the moment´s hesitation she perceived. But the instant passed and all that remained was a somehow electrically charged tension. Levon held Joe with a piercing gaze. At last Joe stepped back inside, dragging his feet as he trudged back to the living room. With a resigned sigh he settled into the armchair a second time.

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They talked, well, at least they tried.

Lexie explained the detox process. Levon swallowed, glad that he wasn´t the subject of the treatment. Joe listened without blinking. Levon had seen Joe camouflage his feelings like this before, and he wondered what emotions were boiling so close to the surface.

But instead of the usual heated reaction Joe resorted to a businesslike question: "What qualifies you?"

Lexie´s answer was no less to the point: "I am a GP and I have an additional degree in psychiatry. I have taken courses in Traditional Chinese Medicine and Ayurveda. All that makes me see body and soul as an inseparable unit, I see both as equally important to sanity." She looked at Joe, trying to gauge his reaction. But it seemed there was none.

"And I am an Indian healer of high renown, just like my grandmother was in her time."

That did it. Joe´s jaw dropped. He was speechless. It took a while for him to grasp the implication.

At last he looked at Levon and asked: "And you knew all this and didn´t deem it necessary to tell me?" The question wasn´t uttered reproachfully. But there was a clear note of disappointment and the expression on Joe´s face was one of profound sadness.

Levon felt a gnawing feeling of guilt. Joe was right. He hadn´t been honest but it had been for Joe´s sake. "Joe, I know you´re right but with all your stubborn opposition to get professional help and all…"

Joe´s hand shot up and his voice was a furious hiss: "It´s my life! Not yours, you hear? It´s not for you to decide."

"Joe, calm down." Lexie tried to de-escalate the situation.

"I don´t want to remind you why you are here, LaFiamma." Levon´s tone of voice was neutral.

"You want to threaten me? Go ahead," came the heated reply.

Intentionally, Levon avoided meeting Joe´s gaze. He folded his hands and looked down at the floor. "Didn´t I beg you not to throw your life away," he paused for an instant. "…not to throw both our lives away?" Then he looked up and met Joe´s gaze. "I do repeat the same again, Joe. Please don´t throw our lives away."

Lexie watched the two men with bated breath.

As the implication sank in Joe seemed to shrink in the armchair. Then he bent his head and hid his face in his hands.

Levon got up and stepped up to his partner. He crouched down beside Joe and as the younger man´s body started to shake with sobs, Levon pulled Joe into his embrace, resting him against his shoulder.

Quietly Lexie got up and left the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

There was a terrible scream. His right arm hurt like hell and when he looked down at his hands they were dripping with blood. Whose blood?

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This was the third night in a row that Joe´s nightmares tore Lexie out of her sleep. She found him sitting up in bed, screaming. She could tell that he wasn´t awake, just like the other nights. She sat down on the edge of the bed beside him and began to address him cautiousy.

"Joe, wake up. Everything´s ok. It´s just a nightmare." She had switched on the lamp on the nightstand. Joe´s face was contorted with fear and his bleak eyes looked at his palms.

"All that blood, everything´s covered with blood…" he whispered.

Lexie reached out and got hold of Joe´s trembling hands, and the touch made him start up. Then he looked at her and at last his gaze cleared and he came awake.

"What happened?" She knew that nightmares were a frequent occurrence during the detox process and especially with the fever it had brought on. But she suspected that this recurring nightmare might also have a special significance.

"There was all that blood." Joe blinked and looked at his hands again as if suspecting to see them still covered in blood.

"Whose blood?" Lexie probed.

"I… I…" Joe gasped, looking at her with wide eyes, unable to retain the fleeting images and the feeling of terror they left in their wake. Finally his breathing slowed. "Where`s Levon?"

"Joe, Levon left in the evening to stay at his grandmother´s house. Don´t you remember? I only have two bedrooms here."

Joe looked insecure for an instant, then tried to cover the notion with annoyance. "Of course I remember. I´m not dense."

Lexie let it go. "Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

"Yeah, sure." Joe slid back down under the covers, for once totally negating his persistent claim that he couldn´t sleep. He turned his back towards her and closed his eyes.

Lexie shrugged and switched the lamp off, then left for her own bed. But she left the door slightly agar.

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When she checked on Joe an hour later he was against all odds indeed asleep. This at least had been achieved, but perhaps it was only a short respite. The detox process was well advanced by now and though she knew it was hard, Joe endured it without complaining. She admired his will, had in fact not expected him to be so determined. Often addicts expressed their willingness to quit the habit, but facing the obstacles and the hardship in the process made many of them falter and abandon their aim.

Joe tried to hide his discomfort, he locked himself away in that tiny room and tried to ignore the belly aches, the nausea, the chills and heatwaves and the occasional fever. The interval of fasting, imposed at first to support the detox process, had transferred into a voluntary period of abstinence due to the total lack of appetite. He often seemed deep in thought, as if he were far away.

And now the nightmares.

Lexie knew it was time to get in touch with Joe´s spirit. She sat down on a chair beside the head board of the bed. Cautiously she placed her fingertips on Joe´s temples, touching them ever so slightly. He did not stir. She became bolder, increasing the pressure. Then she closed her eyes and started chanting.

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After what seemed an awfully long time the confusion finally ceased. Joe´s mind had been filled with a vast turmoil, a chaotic mixture of voices and shadowy silhouettes, colored lights and noises. Then everything faded away, leaving the silhouettes of a woman and a man in the foreground. The woman turned her back and she was looking into the distance. The man wore a cowboy hat that shadowed his face. But he was gazing directly at her. Of course Lexie knew that it was not she but Joe who was at the focus of this imaginary scene. Then the woman started to move towards the edge of the field of vision and at last she was gone altogether.

Lexie was about to retreat from Joe´s sub-consciousness when she noticed two figures in the far distance. First she couldn´t make them out clearly but she forced her concentration towards them. Though they were very far away she could finally discern two kids. One was about fourteen, the other maybe nine. The smaller kid looked up at the other one, his brother? Lexie felt her concentration slip and a light headache contracted her temples. Then she realized that the younger child was alone. But she could not see where the older kid had gone.

Slowly she finished her chant and released Joe´s spirit. There had been no hint where the association of blood in the nightmare might come from. For a long while Lexie remained seated beside the bed. When Joe at last stirred and mumbled in his sleep, she got up and left the room to get back to her own bed.

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Lexie was pouring herself another mug of coffee, when there was a knock on the door. Against the light of the early morning sun the figure in front of the screen door looked a lot like the man Lexie had seen in Joe´s sub-consciousness. Of course it was Levon.

"Hi, you´re right on time for a fresh coffee," she smiled and opened the screen door for him. In passing Levon placed a quick kiss on her cheek, then headed for the kitchen, looking around with a frown.

"Joe still asleep?"

"Yeah, why?" Lexie poured Levon a mug of coffee. "I´m really glad he is finally able to sleep,"

"To be honest, I was hoping to find him awake. You know I have to leave today. I need to get back to work."

"Oh, you can´t leave without saying good-bye."

"I´m not planning to. How is he doin´, by the way?" Levon savored the hot brew.

"Slightly better and improving from day to day." Lexie was drying a plate with a tea towel. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Joe has a recurring nightmare, he´s had it for three nights in a row now. In its course he always looks at his hands and says they are covered in blood. Do you have an idea what this could be about? Could it have something to do with Julia?"

Levon thought for a moment. "I don´t think that it has anything to do with Julia. There´s no proof that she didn´t get away. And neither Julia nor Joe were wounded in such a way, we didn´t find any traces of blood. I also spoke to Joe´s aunt and she´s convinced that Julia got away unharmed."

"But where may the blood he sees in his dream come from then?"

"Well, Joe had a car accident quite recently. When the police found him he had a fierce nosebleed and his hands were covered with blood, just like you describe it."

"What happened?" Lexie asked, concerned.

"He didn´t buckle in the seatbelt and hit his head on the windscreen. But I bet he doesn´t even remember, he had a severe concussion."

Lexie looked at the clock on the wall. "Could you stay for another hour? I need to do some shopping but I don´t want to leave Joe alone in the house."

"Yeah, sure. As long as I don´t set out later than noon, I will make it to Houston before nightfall."

"Great, thanks," Lexie grabbed her bag, car keys and headed out the door.

Levon picked up the newspaper and started reading.

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The doorbell finally woke Joe. Amazed he took in the time displayed on the alarm clock. How could he have slept so late? Well, he felt grateful to have slept at all and he certainly hadn´t slept so well in a long time. With a yawn he stepped out of the room. On his way to the bathroom he passed the hall and found Levon conversing with the postman.

When Joe reemerged from the bathroom, clad in a sweat suit, Levon was back at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper. He looked up as the Italian entered the room and slumped down on the chair on the opposite side of the table.

"And a good morning to you too," Levon eyed his partner over the rim of the paper.

"Mmm…" Joe poured himself a coffee. "How come you´re here? Where´s Lexie?"

"Out shopping. She asked me to babysit." The Texan grinned broadly. "How yah feelin´?"

Joe sipped the hot coffee. "Better," he conceded after a moment´s hesitation. "Yeah, I guess at last I feel really better."

"Good. You look it, too. Care to have breakfast?"

"Nah, I´d rather wait for Lexie. I don´t know if she´s ok with me starting to eat again…"

"Bullshit. Have you looked into the mirror lately? How many pounds have yah lost? Are you hungry or not?"

Joe thought for a moment. "Yeah, well, I think I am hungry," he finally conceaded with a smile.

"Good, let´s have breakfast then," Levon said, returning the smile.

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Levon cooked a generous breakfast and they both ate heartily. Then they did the washing up and at last they even dried the dishes and put them away.

Levon looked at his watch. He needed to go but didn´t want to break his promise to stay with Joe.

Joe seemed to sense Levon´s restlessness. "I could go back with you to Houston, you know."

Levon looked at him incredulously. "No way."

"No, really. I´m pretty much done with the detox. And what else is there I need to stay here for?" Joe tried to sound lightly. "I might as well go back to work next week."

Levon couldn´t believe his ears. This was a bad joke, wasn´t it? Just like before Joe was downplaying if not downright negating his problems. But on the other hand Levon could actually understand his partner.

There was a moment of taut silence. Then a sound at the door made both men direct their gaze down the corridor.

"Everything ok?" Lexie stood in the doorway, laden with shopping bags, uneasily taking in the tension between the two men before their attention shifted to her.

"Yeah, everything´s fine," Levon said. "I´m outa here." He slapped Joe on the back. "And you go through with whatever is necessary to put you back on your feet, yah hear?"

Joe nodded, but at the back of his mind he wondered if there wasn´t a way out prematurely.

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"I´m sorry I am so late. I would have liked to have breakfast with the two of you. But there was a power blackout at the super market and it took a while before they were able to sort out the chaos." Lexie handed Joe the groceries that needed cooling. The other things landed on the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, it was good to have Levon here for a while. I would have liked to go home with him."

Lexie eyed Joe. "Home…huh huh? Where is home for you, Joe?"

He shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. "Well, I guess I´d just like to get back to normal…"

"You haven´t answered my question, Joe," Lexie said softly.

"I… I don´t know where home is anymore. Chicago, I guess…but I can´t go back there, I know that." His voice was resigned. "And I don´t want to talk about it."

Lexie was trying to find a way to pursue the subject further when her gaze fell on a padded manila envelope. It had emerged from the pile of groceries she had piled high onto the kitchen counter. She lifted it and held it up: "Where does this come from?"

Joe looked perplexed, then realization hit him: "The postman must have given it to Levon. I woke when the doorbell rang and when I got up Levon was speaking to the postman."

Lexie turned the envelope over in her hand. There was no sender stated. She thought for a moment. No one knew that she was staying here, she hadn´t told anyone but Levon.

But Jake had somehow found her telephone number and he had called.

Joe watched her suspiciously. Something about her behavior struck him as odd. "Don´t you want to open it?"

Lexie started up as if she had forgotten that she wasn´t alone. On impulse she stuffed the envelope into her handbag and as if she hadn´t heard his question, she continued to rummage around in the kitchen cupboard.

Joe watched her, amazed. He had a feeling that something was bothering her. But then it was none of his business.

As if to draw his attention away from the wretched envelope she said: "Joe, I think it´s about time we have a serious talk." She looked at him expectantly.

Joe turned his back to her, it was a gesture clearly showing his refusal of any such thing as a serious talk.

Inwardly Lexie sighed. But she knew she had to cautiously steer Joe towards a consultation, a consultation which would probably have to feel like a conversation between friends in order to be accepted. Tomorrow they would have to tackle Joe´s problems. There was no way around it.

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The touch was so tantalizing and soft, like a soft breeze caressing and warming his skin. He could feel the hair on his arms and neck rise and the sensation running through his loins was so delicious that he held his breath. His whole body began to prickle with excitement and the arousal flooded his blood in growing waves. He began to moan and pant as the heat turned into sheer sexual excitement and was released only seconds later.

Joe came awake with a jolt. His breathing was fast and his head almost spinning with the extent of the sensual pleasure and the surge of adrenaline.

His hand went to the lamp on the nightstand. Though the light chased away the vivid dream of Julia, Joe became painfully aware of the wet remnant of the illusion between his legs. When had he last had a wet dream? The realization that it must have been in his teenage years filled him with shame as his feelings were running the gamut from excitement to despair.

For an instant he considered to go back to sleep. But he loathed the clinging wetness of his boxers. Suddenly he remembered that Lexie had washed and hung up a load of laundry in the bathroom. The house was quiet. Joe got up, opened the door and tiptoed down the corridor.

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Even though the evening had passed uneventful, Lexie had forgotten about the letter. Now, in the middle of the night, her sub-consciousness suddenly brought the matter up again. She started up and shook off the sleep, wiping her eyes.

At last she took a deep breath and reached out to switch on the lamp on the nightstand. For a few seconds she blinked to adjust to the light. Then she reached for her handbag and pulled out the padded manila envelope. For a long moment she just looked at it, then turned it over several times.

Finally she ripped it open. With trembling fingers she pulled out something soft, a fabric. It was black and smooth, a piece of black silk. She lay it on her lap and unfolded it. With a gasp she realized that she was looking at a pair of panties and a bra, her panties and bra in fact. This was the set of lingerie Jake had given her for her birthday three months ago. It was without doubt hers.

But the garments were changed unmistakably. The crotch of the panties was slit open and the cups of the bra were cut to pieces. She felt a cold sweat on her forehead. A white slip of paper peeked from the envelope and she slowly pulled it out.

 _THERE´S NOWHERE YOU CAN HIDE  
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE COMING TO YOU_

She crumpled the paper in her hand and opened her mouth to scream. But no sound left her lips.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

She did scream a few minutes later, though. She hadn´t turned on the light and in the dark hall she bumped into something, or rather someone. That someone got hold of her with an iron grip. And Lexie screamed, a scream of sheer terror.

When Joe realized who he had grabbed, he reached for the light switch. In the blinding brightness he looked into Lexie´s distorted face, her eyes wide and black with fear. For a second he was startled, then he held her at arm´s length. "Hey, sorry, I didn´t mean to scare you." He scanned her face and took in the unnatural pallor and the trembling of her lower lip. "Lexie, what´s wrong?" Then he felt that her whole body was shaking.

"I…I am ok," she stammered. "R…really." She looked down, trying to hide her fear.

"Bullshit!" With one fell swoop Joe lifted her onto his arms and carried her into the living room, setting her down on the couch. "Lexie, talk to me." He cupped her face with one hand, worried.

Slowly she regained her composure. After taking a deep breath she was finally able to speak: "Really, I´m ok. I´m sorry. It was just…I just thought you were someone else, it was just a bad dream." The instant she said it she realized what a flimsy excuse she had used, and she could immediately see that Joe didn´t buy it.

"Huh-huh." He could see that she was still shaken. "What scared you, Lexie?" When she shook her head, he added: "I just want to help."

"As I said, I just had a bad dream." She looked at him pleadingly. "Could you stay with me for a while?"

Now it was Joe´s turn to stutter. "I…I was on my way to the bathroom." He jumped up and as he stood she took in his appearance: the large wet stain on the front of his boxer shorts, the furious blush of embarrassment that quickly spread across his face. Then he was out of the room and she heard him rummage around somewhere.

After what seemed to be only seconds he was back, dressed in a sweat suit now and a blanket in hand with which he covered her. Then he sat down beside her. After a while he felt his eyelids grow heavy and on impulse he reached out and drew Lexie up against his shoulder. She snuggled up close to him and a few minutes later she felt his breathing become deep and regular, then he went limp with sleep.

Lexie, however, couldn´t find rest until the early hours of morning. The fear Jake had planted in her heart didn´t cease as her thoughts spun in endless circles.

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"No!" Joe´s fist crashed down onto the table. "You may be a shrink but you´ve got no idea how I feel."

"Then tell me." Lexie kept her voice neutral and calm. It had taken a good deal of persuasion to get Joe to talk. But quickly the talk had taken a wrong turn. It seemed Joe´s Italian temper and her Indian temper were just too similar to be compatible.

"Perhaps I´m not the one who should talk about what´s bugging me," Joe uttered provocatively. He knew that Lexie had her own problems and he was by now sure she was hiding something from him.

Lexie didn´t take the bait. "Listen Joe. You haven´t gone through all the discomfort of the detox just to slip deeper into that depression of yours. If you are not willing to face your fears and to explore your feelings then it is pretty sure where you will end up sooner or later."

"I don´t have a depression," Joe said in a small voice. He knew she was right but it hurt too much to admit it. His mind went back to the hospital in South Lake Tahoe. The letter of discharge the doc had given him there had included a pretty distinct psychiatric evaluation. But Joe had removed the single sheet of paper from the report and hidden it in his nightstand instead of giving it to his GP. He had denied the truth back then, but it had caught up with him despite his denial. Deep down inside he knew he had to face it, the sooner the better.

Lexie got up and set up another pot of coffee. When she had her back turned to Joe he suddenly started to speak.

"I feel like I´m going crazy over this. I can´t find any rest. I feel so…" he was searching for words. "…so guilty."

"That´s why you need to talk about it." Her voice was soothing. When she turned around she could see the despondency in his posture.

It took a while before Joe resumed speaking. But when he did it was as if the flow of words couldn´t be staunched.

Lexie listened without interrupting. When Joe finally fell silent again his narration had given her some lose threads to pick up.

"What makes you think that Julia`s dead? What you´ve just told me is proof enough that she had planned her escape quite carefully."

"I don´t know. She said she would give me some sign so that I´d know she is ok, but she didn´t say what it would be and when it would happen. Her father didn´t think she was dead. And neither did my aunt. Levon spoke to her about it. But I am afraid Barberi and his thugs took her and dumped her somewhere." He covered his eyes with his hand, ashamed to show the rising tears.

"Why did she want to meet you in the first place? Didn´t she write in her letter that it was a matter of life or death?"

"I don´t know. I guess she just wanted to see me one last time."

"Then she didn´t ask you to come with her, to share her new life, I mean?"

He shook his head. The question hadn´t crossed his mind before.

"But didn´t she also say that you were the only man she ever loved?"

Joe nodded, the heartbreaking feelings clearly reflected on his face.

Lexie retrieved the freshly brewed coffee and poured each of them a mug. "You slept with her in Las Vegas, didn´t you?"

Joe blushed. The fact that he didn´t meet her eyes was enough of an answer.

She continued to poke at the open wound, taking a chance with a wild guess: "I don´t think you had a wet dream about her last night and at the same time you were afraid she´s dead."

On impulse Joe grabbed his mug and swung back his arm to throw the vessel against the wall. But the hot coffee spilled over his hand and the mug slipped from his grip before he had completed the motion. "Shit!" He wiped his hand on his sweats. "Sorry."

Lexie ignored the broken porcelain. "Don´t be. Just let it out. It´s better than to lock it all up inside."

"She was…" he drew a deep breath trying to hold himself together. "She was still a virgin."

This didn´t surprise Lexie. But she wondered why Joe hadn´t made the connection. Perhaps the female mind worked differently and being a female herself made it far easier to make a guess at Julia´s intention. "Then that was most likely the reason she wanted to see you."

"Bullshit! She…" He looked confused and hurt. "You mean she used me to deflower her?"

"She wanted you to be the first, that´s pretty obvious. Did you use any protection?" Lexie asked matter-of-factly.

"Why…I thought…" Joe´s face was pink with embarrassment now. "I thought she must have taken care of things… at her age…" His head was spinning with all the conflicting emotions.

"Perhaps you should think about her motivation." Lexie knew that though some crucial aspects had been revealed, there were still many hidden. Now Joe would need time to sort this out further.

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Every few days Levon went to Joe´s apartment to empty the mailbox. An overflowing mailbox was bound to draw the attention of Joe´s neighbors. So Levon kept up the routine. But most of the stuff he found were ads and local ad oriented papers.

This time, however, Levon retrieved a large manila envelope from the mailbox. It didn´t state any sender and the postmark on the stamp was smudged. For an instant Levon considered to open the letter. But he knew it was an offence and he wouldn´t fancy anyone to open his own mail either.

So he decided to forward the letter.

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There she was. Jake ducked deeper in the car seat of the old Ford he had acquired only yesterday. Through the binoculars he could see that Lexie was as beautiful as ever, though she seemed a bit tired. He had observed the house for a few hours now. And to his utter disbelief he had found his woman in the company of another man. That damn slut. Now he knew why she had run away. She was a whore. How could he ever have thought this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with?

Ok, maybe it was just as well. Perhaps it would be more difficult to get to her now that she wasn´t alone but on the other hand Jake was willing to rise to the challenge. He had plenty of time. And he could wait.

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Lexie had left on some errant she didn´t care to elaborate while Joe remained sitting at the kitchen table for almost an hour. He couldn´t make sense of the conflicting emotions that were tearing his heart apart.

Why had Julia asked to see him in the first place? The question was valid. But it had never crossed his mind to search for an answer. How would their encounter have ended had he not been abducted?

Julia had said that she was heading for a new life. She had enough money to make a living. She had even found a job. She did not need him. What had he expected?

She had not wanted him, except that one time.

He jumped up and almost threw over the chair he had vacated. He needed some fresh air. All of a sudden the house made him feel claustrophobic.

He stepped out into the backyard and overlooked the plot. Back at the fence a jumble of uprooted trees still cluttered the picture. Perhaps some physical exercise would clear his head. From the shed Joe retrieved a saw and a pair of gloves. One by one he untangled the trees and started to saw them up into pieces of uniform length. Whenever he had finished a trunk he piled up the wood along the wall of the shed.

While he first worked at a steady pace his thoughts revolved around Julia and their encounter in Las Vegas. And the more he thought about it, the clearer it all became.

Julia had manipulated him. She had lured him into a love trap. She had used him. Then she had dumped him. She had taken her revenge on him, the revenge for jilting her all those years ago.

At the back of his mind Joe knew that Julia had every right to get back at him. But he couldn´t suppress the feeling of hot rage that was taking possession of him. It needed an outlet and the steady pace of his work turned into a frantic exertion.

Joe was oblivious to the sudden cold gusts of wind and he ignored the cold rain that obscured the hot tears of anger and frustration. In a way he even welcomed the sensation of the cold wet shirt clinging to his back. It was sobering. For months he had tried to numb the feeling misinterpreted as guilt, and he had wallowed in self-pity. Now it turned out to be the betrayal that had been nagging him all that time. By granting him that single exquisite encounter Julia had shown him what he had thrown away. And that was her revenge. He realized that he would never get it back. With no other woman would he ever have what he had lost when he had jilted Julia.

"Joe?"

He started up and looked into Lexie´s face. She was holding an umbrella to ward off the pouring rain. "What are you doing out here?"

He turned back to continue working on the stump. "Let me finish this." His retort was sharp.

"Are you crazy? How long have you been out here? You´re soaking wet!" Her hand reached out to get hold of the saw. But Joe snatched her wrist and twisted her arm with a grip he would use on a perpetrator during a bust.

"Ouch!" Lexie pulled back and dropped the umbrella. All of a sudden Joe became aware of his own inappropriate reaction. He let go of her, dropped the saw, and with a hastily uttered "Sorry" he disappeared into the house.

Lexie sighed, absentmindedly rubbing her wrist. Looked like Joe was finally making an effort to explore his feelings.

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"Listen, I didn´t mean to hurt you." Joe stepped up to the kitchen sink where Lexie was washing some salad leaves. If she had heard him she didn´t give any indication. Undecided what to do Joe settled at the kitchen table.

Lexie felt unnerved. But not because of anything Joe had done. Her mind was on another matter. She hadn´t been successful in her attempt to buy a gun. She knew Jake would come looking for her sooner or later and she needed to be prepared. But she hadn´t known where to go and she didn´t have the right contacts. So she had had to come back home emptyhanded.

At last she dried her hands and turned around. She wanted to cry, to vent her frustration. But she knew she couldn´t burden Joe with her problems. When he had twisted her arm out there in the yard she had been taken back to the first time Jake had hurt her.

It had been a very similar situation, tempers running high and a tiny gesture gone wrong. But it had been the starting point of a spiral, a spiral of violence. It had ended with a severe beating. Then, when Jake had been at work, Lexie had packed her things and run.

Joe looked at her, amazed. The emotion clearly showing on her face was one of terror, just like it had been when they had bumped into each other in the night. He held his breath. He had hurt her. How could it have come to this? How could he have laid hand on a woman?

On impulse Joe jumped up and rushed to his room. He pulled his suitcase from under his bed and began to stuff his clothes inside.

"Joe, what are you doing?"

He looked up, surprised to see her at the door with a totally calm expression on her face. She must be a hell of an actress. He continued to gather his personal items from around the room.

"Joe?" Her voice was soothing and low.

He stood straight and ran his hand through his hair. "Listen, Lexie, I´m sorry. I don´t know what´s come over me. You´ll be rid of me in a minute." He picked up the bag and headed for the door.

"Why do you think you´re leaving?" Lexie didn´t quite get it, what was he talking about?

Joe looked puzzled. "Well, I… it… I know I overstepped the boundaries. I´m sorry. I should never have touched you. As I said, I didn´t mean to hurt you."

"Oh, that." She made a dismissive gesture. When she continued there was a tinge of amusement in her voice. "Don´t worry, you didn´t hurt me." She took the suitcase from his hand and carried it back his room. She set it down. "You should dry your hair if you don´t want to catch a cold. And after that, supper seems to be a good idea, don´t you think?"

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"Things can´t go on like this," Lexie stated dryly. The issue she referred to as "things" was yet another bloody nightmare Joe had had in the night.

"I know, I know," was all Joe uttered through clenched teeth. These nightmares were getting to him. Though he had contemplated Julia and her motivation, the nightmare hadn´t changed. His own rage was a new element and his view of his ex-fiancée had changed. It was a move into a different direction but it hadn´t helped. It was downright frustrating.

Joe had tried to describe the content of the nightmare to Lexie but it was hard to grasp. However, the screaming and the blood on his hands were always a part, just as was the pain in his arm.

Lexie thought of the two kids she had seen when she had gotten into contact with Joe´s spirit. By now she was wondering if the nightmare might not at all have anything to do with Julia.

"How many siblings do you have?" she asked, seemingly out of the blue.

Joe looked up in surprise. "None, why?"

"But you said you have a large family." She eyed him incredulously.

"Yeah, well, my parents had many siblings, so I have many aunts and uncles and on account of that I have many cousins. But I am an only child. Why?" He was massaging his right arm.

For an instant Lexie considered to ask Joe directly about the two kids. Then her eye caught his action. "What´s with your arm?"

"Oh, nothing." Joe dropped his left hand away from the right elbow.

"Does it hurt? Let me take a look." Lexie got hold of Joe´s elbow and her fingers probed the joint and attached sinews.

"Outch".

"Keep still for a bit." She kept examining his limb. "I can give you an embrocation."

"Probably just overstrained from using the saw. Don´t make a fuss."

"Yeah, guess you´re right. You´re suffering from a tennis elbow."

"What? Don´t make fun of me." Joe said, frowning. "I´ve never played tennis in all my life."

"I´m not making fun of you. It doesn´t matter how you overstrained your elbow, even if it wasn´t tennis that caused the problem. The effect is the same." Lexie laughed but then her expression grew grave. "Did you ever hurt your arm before? If you always feel that pain in your nightmare there must be a connection."

Joe thought for a moment, then shook his head. "Not that I can remember." He got up from the breakfast table and carried the dishes to the sink.

Lexie stored the milk in the fridge. "Joe, I´ll be out for a while. I have an appointment about a job opening." She looked at him, trying to gauge his reaction, then added: "I hope you don´t mind."

"No problem." Joe looked around. "I could finish off those stumps in the yard…"

"Don´t you dare, give your arm some rest." Lexie picked up her bag and keys. "Why don´t you try to relax for a change?" With a last look at the young man she headed for the door.

"Yeah, sure…" was Joe´s halfhearted reply.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Ok, perhaps a little cooking would help him relax. Joe opened the fridge and started to rummage through Lexie´s stock of vegetables. He took out the carrots and celery. There were of course no zucchini, what had he expected? Maybe he could make use of that cabbage. He closed the fridge again and looked around for some garlic. Garlic was essential. Levon always teased him about his extensive use of garlic. The search didn´t turn up anything except some onions. Disappointed Joe took a knife out of the drawer. At least there were enough tomatoes.

An hour later he dropped the spoon he had used to try the minestrone. Well, it couldn´t rightly be called that, there were just too many of the traditional ingredients missing. His grandmother would have been disappointed had he presented her with this soup. As he swallowed the broth he felt a slight pain in his throat. He swallowed again and frowned. Just ignore it, he told himself. Shortly he considered having a bowl. But to his own surprise he didn´t feel hungry, even though it was way past noon. He took the pot and set it on a mat beside the stove to cool.

A faint pounding in his head made his hand go up to his temple. Perhaps he should lie down for a bit. His bones seemed unnaturally weary and his joints felt strangely sensitive. He hoped he wasn´t coming down with something.

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Lexie closed the door and exhaled with a sigh of relief. Outside her grandmother´s house she just wasn´t able to shake the feeling of being watched. Ever since she had received the package with the cut-up lingerie she felt haunted. Come to think of it she had to admit that she didn´t feel much safer at home.

At least she had been able to buy a gun. Quietly she slipped into her own bedroom. She opened her handbag and pulled out the small firearm. For an instant she looked at the chunk of steel. With a sinking feeling she realized that having a weapon in the house didn´t mean she would be able to use it to defend herself. But what else could she do?

Quickly she opened the drawer of her nightstand and slid the gun under a few sheets of paper. When she shut the drawer she suddenly became aware that there was in fact someone in the house who knew how to handle a gun. Joe. He was a cop. He knew how to defend himself and others. It was his job. At least when he was on duty. Which he wasn´t right now. Should she confide in him nonetheless? What would he do?

The thought of Joe brought her out of her musings. She perceived the smell of freshly cooked vegetables and headed for the kitchen. It was deserted and as she reached out and touched the pot beside the stove she found it lukewarm. She lifted the lid. The rising flavor was mouthwatering. She hadn´t expected Joe to be such a good cook. Most men weren´t. But this pot of soup wasn´t the result of some prefab product from the supermarket.

When she turned around, she saw Joe standing in the kitchen door. She wondered why he looked far from happy. She suspected he wouldn´t tell her what was bothering him if she simply asked him. "Thanks for cooking. That smells really good," she started the conversation with a smile.

"Oh, that´s nothing. It was supposed to be Minestrone but some vital ingredients are missing." Joe swallowed against the sharp pain in his throat.

She saw him wince and wondered what was wrong. She turned to the cupboard and took out two bowls, set them down on the table. When she opened the drawer and got hold of two large spoons, Joe spoke up behind her: "I already had my share when I prepared it. I´m not having any more."

Lexie lifted the lid from the pot. The vessel was almost filled to the brim. If Joe had in fact eaten any soup it couldn´t have come from this pot. She knew at once that Joe was lying, but why? She filled one bowl with soup and sat down to eat. She closed her eyes as she savored the first spoonful. It was delicious. When she opened her eyes again and looked up Joe was gone.

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Lexie had two bowls of the soup. She would have felt perfectly at ease hadn´t it been for the gnawing worry about her cohabitant. She remained sitting at the kitchen table for a short while, then got up and put the empty bowl into the sink.

She found Joe in his room, sitting on the bed, with his eyes closed. She sat down beside him and took his hand. "Joe? What´s wrong?"

"I... I have a terrible headache." He had tried to deny it all through the day. But he knew the symptoms too well, had suffered from the same sickness many times as a child and teenager. And even as an adult he had caught it every now and then.

Joe´s cheeks were flushed and as soon as Lexie felt his forehead, she knew that he had a fever. Not a slight temperature, but a full grown fever. She remembered the pained look when he had swallowed. She got up and went back to the kitchen, pulled a small torch out of a drawer and returned to Joe´s room.

"Open your mouth, Joe."

The blue eyes came open. "Why, I…"

"And stick your tongue out."

Reluctantly he complied.

"Wow!"

"What?" He didn´t need to ask, he just did it to keep up appearances.

"That´s the nastiest strep throat infection I´ve seen in a long time." Lexie switched off the flashlight. "You probably caught it working in the cold rain. Why didn´t you say something?"

"What would you have done about it?"

"I´m a doctor, remember? If you had told me you weren´t feeling well I would have tried to help."

"I felt alright when you left this morning."

Lexie frowned. The detox was taxing for the patient, it tended to leave him weakened and that also accounted for a higher susceptibility to infections. And such infections could develop pretty quickly once they had gained a foothold. "Ok, you get into bed now." She watched as Joe lifted the comforter and slid underneath.

"Don´t you want to shed the sweat suit?"

"I´m so cold." Joe pulled the comforter up and closed his eyes. He could not suppress the chattering of his teeth. When he opened his eyes again, Lexie was holding a thermometer.

"Come on, let me take your temperature."

Joe opened his mouth and she slid the device under his tongue.

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Three minutes later Lexie cautiously retrieved the thermometer. 103. And from the looks of it still rising.

Joe moaned again. She remembered his mention of a severe headache and went to the bathroom. After a thorough search the medicine cabinet rendered an almost empty package of painkillers. With a glass of water she returned to Joe´s bedside.

"Joe, you wanna take a painkiller?" She sat down on the edge of the bed.

He opened his eyes, pleading. "You think I could take one? My doc in Houston said I shouldn´t…"

"I guess this is an emergency. It´s better than to suffer that pain," Lexie said reassuringly.

Joe rose on one elbow and took the glass. "I don´t want to be sick," he said meekly. "I´m so tired of it all." He took the pill into his mouth, took a sip of water and downed it, hardly able to overcome the tightness in his throat.

Lexie could feel Joe´s distress. "I´m sorry, Joe. You shouldn´t have worked outside in the cold rain." She took the glass from his shaking hand and set it down on the nightstand. "Probably your immune system is just out of sorts due to the stressful detox." She got up and went to the window. Drawing the curtains shut she added: "Why don´t you try to sleep for a bit?" When she turned back she saw that Joe was shivering vehemently. She pulled another blanket from the wardrobe and draped it over the bed. The room was dim now though it was only early afternoon. With a sudden resolve Lexie sat down on the chair beside the bed again. She took Joe´s hand, which was protruding from underneath the blanket. She held it tightly in her own hand and started chanting soothingly.

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Jake had followed Lexie when she left the house in the morning, but he had quickly lost her car in the traffic. Returning to his position opposite the house he had watched Joe work in the kitchen.

After some time the dark-haired man disappeared from his view. Then Lexie returned. First she went to the kitchen, but then she disappeared too.

After a patience testing time Lexie reappeared at the window of one of the bedrooms. She looked out and for a second Jake feared she had spotted him. He ducked behind the wheel of his car. But then she looked away and simultaneously drew the curtains shut.

At once Jake grasped the significance of her action. The slut was climbing into bed with the guy! In broad daylight!

Jake almost flipped. How could she do that? She was his woman, his woman alone. No other man had the right to touch her.

It was time to act.

He felt the urge to jump up and go in there right there and then. They both had to die…

When the postman approached Lexie´s door, Jake suddenly had an idea.

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Joe getting sick like this was something Lexie would have gladly done without. The whole situation was difficult enough. She had hoped Levon would come to pick Joe up on the upcoming weekend. But now that wasn´t an option. It would take a few days for Joe to battle and get over the fierce infection. And under no circumstances could he go back to active duty on Monday.

For now the patient was asleep. Lexie got up and went to the living room. She had just started to dial Levon´s number when the doorbell rang. She dropped the phone and headed for the door. When she passed Joe´s bedroom door she peeked inside, afraid that the doorbell might have woken him. But he seemed oblivious to the things that went on around him.

It turned out to be the postman. He had a large manila envelope for Joe. Lexie took it to the living room and put it on the side board. No point in waking Joe up now to tell him that there was mail for him.

Then she dialed Levon´s home number once more. After the third ring Levon´s answering machine started to relay its standard message. Lexie listened, but after the beep she did not, as asked, say what she had intended. Instead she dropped the phone, perplexed by her own action. Why hadn´t she given Levon the intended message?

Somewhat clueless she strolled over to the kitchen and sat down, contemplating the situation. It took her a while to understand why she had done it. At last she had to face it: she dreaded the thought of being called, the possibility of her phone ringing without her knowing who to expect at the other end. The last person who had called her here had been Jake. She couldn´t make sure that it was Levon, it could as well be Jake again. She was afraid to pick up the phone and hear Jake´s voice, hear him hurl obscene threats at her.

The responsibility for Joe suddenly felt too heavy and Lexie was unsure how to care for him under the looming shadow of that man. She felt intimidated and discouraged. In an attempt to keep the horror at bay she went from one room to the next, closed all the shutters and curtains and locked the front and back door.

Then she sat down beside Joe´s bed and tried to calm down.

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There proved to be more than the fear of Jake that prevented Lexie from getting much rest that night. She had hardly fallen asleep when a cry of anguish woke her.

Lexie started up in her chair, a not so comfortable resting place. Her gaze went over to the bed. Joe was tossing and turning and crying out in his sleep. Yawning, Lexie bent forward towards the bed and touched Joe´s forehead. It was hot and sweaty.

She pulled herself up. "Joe, Joe, wake up."

Joe slapped her hand away. "No, no," he muttered. Then he seemed to come awake. "Lexie, is that you? What´s the matter?"

"Yeah, it´s me. You had a bad dream. How are you feeling?" She switched on the lamp on the nightstand.

Joe shielded his eyes against the light. "My head hurts like hell, and my throat as well. I can hardly swallow."

Lexie nodded. Those were the typical symptom of a strep throat infection.

Joe rolled on his side and looked up at her. "Can´t you do something?" he moaned. Lexie could see him wince as he swallowed.

She got up, went to the kitchen and retrieved a tea towel. She wet the cloth with cold water and wrung out the surplus of moisture. With this, another dry towel and a woolen scarf she returned to the bedroom.

Joe had closed his eyes. Lexie sat down on the chair beside the bed and slightly touched Joe´s shoulder. "Can you sit up a bit?"

"Why?" Joe mumbled, half asleep again.

"I want to put a cool packing around your neck. It will help to fight the infection."

Joe rose on one elbow, but when he felt the cold tea towel making contact with his neck he protested loudly. "What do you think you´re doing? That´s cold!"

"Yeah, but that´s alright. It will become warm very quickly, don´t worry. Don´t you know cool calf packings?"

"´course I know what calf packings are, my mom used to do them when I had a fever."

"See?" As a second layer Lexie wrapped the dry towel around Joe´s neck, and as a last one she used the woolen scarf. She fixed it with a safety pin to keep it in place.

Joe sank back against the pillow, feeling even more uncomfortable than before. "Could I have another pain killer?"

"Against the headache?"

"Yeah, please."

Lexie thought for a moment. The last dose hadn´t been that long ago and it had been a strong one. Thinking of Joe´s kidneys she would rather not give him another one so soon. Instead she got up and fetched a small tin from her medicinal stock. She dipped her finger into the content, an aromatic ointment.

"Keep your eyes shut," she ordered. Cautiously she applied the substance to Joe´s temples and forehead. The fragrance filled the room immediately. It smelled pleasantly but also slightly medicinal.

Joe breathed deeply. "Oh, that feels good. Thanks." He lifted his hand to touch his forehead.

But Lexie snatched his wrist. "Don´t! You mustn´t rub it into your eyes. Now try to go back to sleep."

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Levon yawned. The stakeout had kept him busy far into the night. Despite the hardship, the extra shift had been a success, Esteban and he had been able to arrest a prominent dealer. Now that the tension fell away Levon felt totally knackered. Out of habit he refrained from switching on the light in the small ranch house. He went to the sideboard and poured himself a small tumbler of whiskey. As the stinging liquid burned down his throat he turned around to face the room. In the far corner he perceived a light and as he stepped towards it he realized that it was the red light blinking on his answering machine.

He pressed the button and was informed of the time the call had come in. In tense anticipation he listened before he realized that the caller had left no message.

For a moment he wandered who had called at the odd hour. If it had been urgent the caller would for sure have left a message. Or wouldn´t he? From out of the blue he had a vague notion that his might have something to do with Joe. Suddenly Levon doubted that he would fall asleep easily.

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"Take it off," Joe moaned, his hand frantically tugging at the scarf fixed tightly around his neck. Lexie undid the safety pin and copiously uncoiled the cloths with one hand, while lifting Joe´s head with the other. The fact that the skin under her fingers was still hot, even hotter than before, filled her with dread. She was wrecking her brain almost frantically for a remedy, when another of Joe´s mutterings brought her attention back to her patient.

"My ears hurt real bad." Joe´s head moved from one side to the other, his eyes squeezed shut against the pain. "Jules, can´t you give me something?" His hands went up to his ears. "Please."

Lexie got up and went to the hall. She picked up her handbag and car keys. She had to get some antibiotics for Joe. She was already reproaching herself for postponing it way too long. She had to act quickly, otherwise Joe could be in real trouble. And she as his doctor as well.

She threw one last look into Joe´s room and, finding him dozing off again, she turned around and was out of the house.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

This was his chance. The Indian slut had left the house as if in flight and by the looks of the still drawn curtains in the rooms, Jake concluded that the guy living with her was still asleep. Jake was well prepared for the invasion of her house, he had a credible disguise and on account of that it would be easy to gain access.

In taut anticipation Jake got out of his car and grabbed the clipboard from the passenger seat. He donned the cap and pulled it deep over his eyes. Then he approached the front door of the house and drew a deep breath. His arm went up and he started banging on the door.

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Joe was bothered by strange feverish dreams. He had seen fleeting images of Julia, but then she was gone all of a sudden. He had to find her. But he felt so terribly sick, his head and his throat hurt, and now the pain was even radiating up to his ears.

He had drifted off again into sleep when a steady pounding permeated his clouded perception. He couldn´t place the sound, turned over to block it out. It didn´t stop. Finally he slowly surfaced. This could only be Levon, that Texan always raised hell when he wasn´t ready for work. That pounding…

It was continuing, persistantly and loud. Ok, he might as well get up to answer that call. With an enormous effort Joe sat up and the room around him started to spin. For an instant he held on to the comforter and tried to breathe easy. Without the cover he felt cold and his hand searched the bed, getting hold of a heavy toweling bathrobe. He got to his feet and dragged the bathrobe behind himself, aimlessly stumbling towards the hammering sound. On his way down the hall he tried to put on the bathrobe and at last he managed it, even tying the belt fairly well. He faintly wondered why the whole place didn´t look familiar. Then he was at the door and opened it, the blinding light making him sneeze violently.

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Jake had thought he was well prepared. But the picture before him took him completely by surprise. He recognized the guy, it was the man he had seen in the garden. But this time the man looked different. He was clad in a ridiculous flowery bathrobe, probably dating back to the fifties. His eyes were red and the stubble on his cheek indicated that he hadn´t shaved for at least two days. His hair was in total disarray and the moment he opened the door a massive sneezing fit seized him.

When the sneezing stopped the guy blinked into the blinding sunlight. "Yeah?" he croaked in a hoarse voice.

Jake tried to focus and remember what he had planned to do. But somehow he had imagined the situation to be completely different. It would be easy to overpower that man, he was in a sorry state, that much was obvious. But dealing with an opponent so far below his own capacity wasn´t his style, it just wasn´t fun.

"I am looking for Miss Johnson," Jake said businesslike. "I am from the local power supplier. I have an appointment with Miss Johnson to check her appliances." Ostentatiously he scanned the clipboard he was carrying.

"Who?" Joe looked dumbstruck. "Oh, yeah." He turned back towards the hall, hesitating for a moment as he finally realized where he was. But where was Lexie? "I don´t know… where she is I mean." He was wrecking his clouded brain but the fever was making it impossible to think straight.

"Listen, I could check the appliances even though Miss Johnson isn´t in. Then I wouldn´t have to come again and that would spare the lady the extra cost." Jake smiled reassuringly.

Joe wiped the sweat from his forehead with his right hand while his left grabbed the doorframe to steady himself. "Yeah, if you don´t need me for that, I´d like to lie back down, I don´t feel so well…"

"Yeah sure, don´t worry, I´ll find my way around. These houses are all the same," Jake laughed, making a step into the house as Joe retreated down the hall and disappeared into the dark bedroom.

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That had been easy. Jake looked around the kitchen. He stepped up to the stove and took a look at the main power connections. He rummaged around for a while and then stopped, listening attentively for any sounds from Lexie´s lover. But the house was utterly quiet. Cautiously he went from one room to the next. He peeked into the small bedroom, finding the guy in the single bed, apparently asleep. The adjacent room was obviously Lexie´s bedroom. Quietly Jake sat down on the bed. He opened the drawer of the nightstand and lifted a few sheets of paper.

Wow, there right in front of him was the cut-up lingerie he had sent her. And there was a gun. So she was expecting him. He grinned. Pity that she had gone out instead of waiting for him. From the corner of his eye he saw her nighty lying on the bed. He reached out and pulled it to his face, drew in her smell as he closed his eyes. Immediately he felt aroused. But the sexual excitement was tainted with fierce anger, anger he knew could only be released in a violent confrontation with the object of his desire. He slid the gun into his jacket pocket and closed the drawer again.

Back in the kitchen he pulled a sheet of paper from the clipboard and scribbled something down. He folded it and laid it on the kitchen table.

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Lexie shut the door behind herself and immediately headed for Joe´s bedroom. She had felt uneasy about leaving him alone for so long. But it had been essential, indispensable even to get vital medication for him as soon as possible.

She entered the dark bedroom and it took some time for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. The patient was buried in a tangle of blankets and scarfs. Only the shock of near black hair was visible. The sound of Joe´s breathing, however, was clearly discernible. It had a wheezing quality and it indicated that by now the infection had spread throughout Joe´s whole respiratory system.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to get hold of Joe´s hand by burrowing into the tangled blanket. At last her hand touched his neck and chest and she could feel the searing heat of the fever on his skin. For an instance she wondered if it hadn´t been better to have taken Joe to a hospital instead of going out to get the meds for him.

"Joe, come on. I want to fix an IV to your hand." She got hold of Joe´s hand and pulled it out from under the blanket. Joe didn´t react. His extremities were frighteningly limp. Lexie pushed aside her fear and welcomed his passive state as a chance to administer the necessary treatment. She took the IV from her bag and slid the needle into the back of Joe´s hand. A strip of adhesive tape kept it in its place. She hung the bag with the fluid onto the floor lamp. For a while she watched Joe´s face but she searched in vain for a change or reaction.

Then she realized that Joe´s lips were dry and chapped from the fever. She got up and fetched some balm from her medicine bag. She dipped her pinky finger into the small vessel and cautiously applied the balm to Joe´s lips. Her thoughts had drifted away when Joe suddenly reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"Jules, Jules, don´t leave me alone again. Please, don´t go away." His grip was almost painful.

Lexie set the balm aside and got hold of his hands, trying to stop his movements to prevent him from tearing out the IV drip. "Joe, please, stay calm." She began to chant softly, a melodic tune her mother and her grandmother had sung when she had been a child. At the same time she ran her fingers through his hair. It had a soothing effect and while Joe held on to her other hand he continued to mumble: "Jules, why did you do that to me, why, tell me…" Then his speech became slurry and the words unintelligible as he nodded off again.

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"HPD, Sergeant O´Brian speaking. How can I help you?" Levon´s long legged blonde colleague with the nickname "Legs" had picked up his persistently ringing phone.

"I´d like to speak to Levon Lundy, please."

"Sorry, he´s not in right now. Is this about a case?"

Lexie hesitated, then she resigned. "Could I speak to Mr. Lundy´s superior instead?"

"Yes, sure, hang on. I´ll put you through."

There were a few crackling sounds on the line before another female voice spoke. "Lieutenant Beaumont speaking."

Lexie drew a deep breath. "I´m Dr. Johnson. I´m currently taking care of Joe LaFiamma."

There was a short pause, then Joanne Beaumont asked: "Did you say doctor? Something wrong with Joey?"

"Yes, I´m sorry, there is in fact something wrong with him. He´s down with a serious strep throat infection. I understand that he was supposed to be back at work on Monday?"

"Yes, that´s when his leave will end." There was a moment´s hesitation in the lieutenant´s voice. "Does this mean he won´t be coming back next week? We are terribly short of staff right now."

"There´s no way Joe can go back to work on Monday, he´s way too sick. I´ll send you a note."

"Ok." Joanne´s voice indicated that she was not at all pleased. "But I don't actually need a doctor´s note. Joe is on unpaid leave right now. But thanks for letting me know."

"Oh, I wasn´t aware of that," Lexie replied, then hesitated. "Could you please tell Levon Lundy about Joe and ask him to call me?"

"Levon doesn´t know yet?"

"No, I couldn´t reach him yet. Perhaps he could come to see Joe on the weekend."

Joanne wondered where Joe actually was right now. "I´m afraid Levon can´t take any time off right now. As I said, we are extremely short of staff…"

"Oh, yes, I understand. Then it would be kind of you to just relay the message."

"Of course."

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The repeated failure to reach Levon frustrated Lexie. After checking that Joe was still asleep, she at last headed for the kitchen to have a belated breakfast. She made herself some toast and coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. As she put down the steaming mug her gaze fell on a folded sheet of paper. Casually she picked it up and unfolded it. Recognizing the familiar hand she gasped as she took in the message.

 _ **Don´t worry, it won´t be long now, my love**_

Instantly her hand began to shake and the letters blurred before her eyes. She could hardly breathe, and she felt a trickle of sweat run down her spine. The minutes passed and she didn´t dare to move.

She could not say how much time had passed. At last, when no hand had been placed on her shoulder and no hot breath had tickled the skin on the back of her neck, she got up and slowly went from one room to the next, always expecting to find Jake standing behind this door or in the shadow of that wardrobe.

Where had the sheet of paper come from? There was only one answer: Jake had put it there, Jake had entered the house, God knew how.

As sheer terror quickened her heartbeat she hurried to her bedroom and sank onto the bed. She opened the drawer of the nightstand and lifted the papers. There was nothing underneath, the gun was gone. He must have taken it. Her chest felt painfully constricted and she unsuccessfully tried to contain her fear. But her despair broke free with a violent sob which she could not suppress.

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Her tears had been almost spent when a sound from the door made her start up. Joe was standing there, slumped against the doorframe, one arm half raised to hold up the half empty IV bag.

Lexie jumped up to meet him: "Joe, you mustn´t get up, please, lie back down." She steered him back towards the guest room, slipping his arm over her shoulder to support him. Joe let himself be pulled along but when she pushed him onto his bed he got hold of her and pulled her down with him.

"Lexie, what´s wrong? Why are you crying?" His hand wiped the tears from her face.

"It´s nothing, Joe, really." But as another sob broke free he pulled her to rest against his chest.

"Shhhh," he tried to console her, though his voice was hoarse and almost failed. His hand soothingly stroked her back and hair. "Is this about me? You needn´t worry, I´ll be alright."

"No, no," she uttered between sobs. "He was here, he took my gun."

Joe held her at arm´s length. "Who was here, what gun?"

Lexie drew a ragged breath and tried to compose herself. "My ex, he´s stalking me. He must have been here, he left a note on the kitchen table."

It took Joe´s muddled brain several moments to work out what she was talking about. As comprehension hit him he reluctantly conceded his part in the incident. "There was someone here from the local power supplier. He wanted to check things. He said he had an appointment." Joe looked devastated as he realized just how gullible he had been. He knew that his state was no excuse for acting carelessly. "I´m sorry Lexie, I let him in and I went back to bed, because I felt so sick." He hugged her in an attempt to comfort her.

But she broke free and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "It´s not your fault, Joe. I should never have left you alone." She jumped up and rushed to her room, pulling out a travel bag from under the bed. In a frenzy she started to pull clothes from the wardrobe and stuff them into the bag. Joe had followed her and in a spell of dizziness clung to the doorknob.

When she saw him pale she abandoned the packing in favor of rushing to his side to steady him. "Oh God, Joe, I´m sorry. I tried to reach Levon to ask him to come down so we wouldn´t be on our own anymore. But I couldn´t reach him. Perhaps I should call the police." She went to the phone.

"Wait," Joe croaked. "Don´t lose your head, calm down. What exactly did the guy do that you´re so spooked?" His cop instincts were kicking in, despite the fever his brain tried to follow a logical course.

At once Lexie was torn between feeling terrified and embarrassed. She didn´t want to admit that she had become a victim, just like many of her former patients had been in one way or another. Never would she have guessed to get into such a situation herself, to change sides so drastically. She swallowed hard before she uttered through clenched teeth: "He harassed me in the meanest way and then…" she was hardly able to say it aloud, "…then he beat me." She blushed, ashamed to put her ordeal into words. "I had two broken ribs, assorted bruises and a black eye."

"Damnit, that bastard," Joe drew her into his embrace again. "I´m so sorry."

The extensive and close body contact made Lexie realize Joe´s body temperature. She withdrew and felt his forehead. "Joe, you need to lie back down." At first he protested but she pulled him towards his bedroom and as he sank back against the pillow a half suppressed moan escaped his lips. Lexie checked the IV needle and hung the bag back up. Then she sat down on the edge of the bed and offered him the thermometer. He slipped it under his tongue and closed his eyes.

Joe had almost fallen asleep when Lexie cautiously retrieved the measuring device three minutes later. "Still 104, how are you feeling?"

"Great," he mumbled, his voice raspy and almost failing.

"How are your ears?"

"Better."

"Don´t lie to me, Joe."

"No, really, they don´t hurt anymore." He tried to smile, but the expression was half-hearted and slightly lopsided as he added: "Really, my ears are better, but the rest of my head hurts like hell."

"Huh huh, you can´t be that sick if you´re still up to a joke. Now go back to sleep." She got up to leave.

"What about your ex?" Joe called after her.

She turned around in the door, trying to keep her face straight. "I guess he just wants to scare me. He´s very good at such things." She did not want to burden Joe with her own private problems but she wasn´t sure she could fool him. "I think I should once more try to reach Levon." She refrained from relaying Lieutenant Beaumont´s message about not being able to spare Levon. Instead Lexie switched off the light and left the door slightly ajar.

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How could he have been such a fool. Jake´s foot kicked at the waste paper basket in his motel room. It would have been a piece of cake to overpower Lexie´s new lover and he, Jake the idiot, had let the chance pass by. He had already spent far too much time tracking down the slut, watching her and trying to figure out how to take his revenge on her. He was itching to get back at her but his impatience was clouding his judgment.

Though he was angry with the man who now shared her life, Jake suddenly felt pity for the guy. He was just another victim of that depraved woman. He wondered how many lives she had destroyed before he had met her. Well, that was about to end soon. With new resolve he picked up the car key and headed out of the motel room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

When Joanne gave him the message, Levon was most disappointed. Until then he had so hoped that Joe was finally better and would return to his side on the job next week. But thinking about it Levon had to admit that Lexie hadn´t said whether Joe was really over the depressive spell which had threatened to destroy both their lives. Most likely Lexie held back because she considered the subject to be strictly confidential, and as a doctor she had a valid point there. Of course the bout of strep throat was a different matter altogether, yet it certainly was a grave setback for Joe´s recovery.

Joanne had made it clear that she could not spare him, but Levon was determined to take the week-end off. At last he succeeded in swapping shifts with Joe-Bill and Carol. But in return he had to part with a fair amount of the money in the form of a pair of highly attractive Baseball tickets. Levon was glad that in the end the bribing yielded the desired result. That done he picked up the phone to give Lexie the good message.

The phone kept ringing but there was no answer. This was strange. With Joe sick in bed Lexie would certainly stay at home by his side, or wouldn´t she? Perhaps she was out for some reason or other. Or Joe was worse and she had had to take him to a hospital. Levon pushed the thought aside. No use overreacting now. With an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach he put the phone down after the umpteenth ringing and resumed working. Only another two hours of paperwork and he would be on his way.

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Dio mio! Why couldn´t he just for once get some undisturbed sleep? Joe´s hand went to the nightstand and searched for the ringing phone, but there was none. As the ringing had stopped by then, he fell back against the pillow with a moan. It dawned on him that he wasn´t in his flat in Houston. He was tempted to nod off again but then felt strangely uncomfortable. With some effort he rose onto his elbows and looked around.

Joe recognized the small bedroom in Lexie´s house and wondered if the phone had stopped ringing because Lexie had answered it. He pricked his ears, but he couldn´t hear anything. Behind the closed curtains the daylight was hardly discernable, but he had no concept of time and couldn´t tell whether it was morning or evening. Slowly he sat up and registered that he didn´t feel quite as sick as before. His head still hurt, but the persistent pounding had ceased. He swallowed and felt relieved to find that the torturing pain in his throat had also slightly retreated. The discomfort he was feeling, however, could be put down to the sweat drenched T-shirt and boxers he was wearing. He concluded that the fever peak must have finally passed, and instantly he felt the urge to change into a set of dry clothes.

Gingerly swinging his legs over the side of the bed he was instantly held back by a tearing pain in the back of his hand. He looked down and realized that the IV needle was still lodged in its place. He lifted his gaze and found the IV bag hanging on the floor lamp beside the bed. It was empty. On the nightstand lay a package of paper tissues. He retrieved one and pressed it down on the needle, which he pulled out slowly, gritting his teeth. He got up cautiously, testing his balance, then went to the bathroom in search of a band-aid.

After patching up his hand, following the call of nature and changing, Joe wandered through the house. Where was Lexie and why had she once again left him alone? As he stepped through the dark hall towards the front door he suddenly drew up his bare foot with a suppressed shriek. On one foot he hobbled back to the bathroom, slumping down on the closed toilet lid. When he lifted the hurting foot he realized that he had stepped into a shard of glass. He cursed inwardly and pulled it out. At once blood gushed from the wound onto the bath rug. Joe reached for a towel and pressed it against the wound to stem the flow. How much bad luck could one person have? Joe normally wasn´t one to lament his fate but lately it seemed that all the odds were against him. He tried to shake the thought and applied another band aid on the bleeding cut. It was soaked almost instantly. Frustrated he got up and hobbled back to his bed, reaching for his socks. Regardless of the continuous bleeding he slipped into the socks and then his running shoes.

A slight dizziness made him close his eyes for an instant, and when he opened them again he felt chilly. There was a strange draft, as if the air was being sucked through the small house by something forceful. His first impulse was to snuggle back under the comforter. But he needed to find out where Lexie was. He got hold of the grandmother bathrobe that was again lying across the foot of his bed and put it on. With some effort he got up and first went to Lexie´s room. Looking down at the untidy pile of clothing protruding from a travel bag Joe suddenly remembered Lexie´s frightened reaction to her home being intruded by her ex. He took the clothes as proof that she hadn´t run away heedlessly.

Next he headed for the main door again, encountering a carpet of broken glass. He traversed the shards and found the glass in the door gone. Why hadn´t he heard anything? Surely the breaking of the glass must have made a lot of noise, as did the draft that now swept through the small house. He was acutely aware that the chill he was feeling now wasn´t caused by the fever. A sudden anxiety knotted his stomach. He opened the door and looked outside. Lexie´s car was standing on the curb right in front of the house.

Joe closed the door again and hastily hobbled to the living room. He picked up the phone and dialed 911. When the call was answered, he opened his mouth to form the emergency message. But he couldn´t produce the slightest tone. His voice was completely gone. The officer on the line kept repeating his question over and over again, but Joe utterly failed to get out any sound. At last he threw down the phone in frustration and slumped down on the couch.

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Lexie drew a ragged breath and tried to calm down. She looked around the shabby motel room. Jake had tied her to the only chair and gagged her to keep her from shouting for help. Then he had left without a word.

When he had called at her house she had not recognized him at first due to the cap and the clothes he had been wearing. But the second he had tried to wedge his foot into the door crack she had smashed the door into his face. Furiously Jake had raised his elbow and rammed it into the glass. She had jumped back and tried to run to her bedroom, but Jake had caught up with her and grabbed her, forcefully pressing his hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. She had hoped the commotion would wake Joe and that he would come to her aid. But she had been wrong. Jake had dragged her out of the house and into his car. No one had hindered him, no one had witnessed the kidnapping.

Her mind was reeling, desperately searching for a way out. First she had to get a grip on her fear. She closed her eyes and forced her mind to concentrate. Even though her mouth was closed by the gag, she inwardly started to chant.

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Levon dropped a dime into the slot of the payphone. He was almost there, but as he had had to gas up, he had decided to call Lexie´s place again. After the third ring the phone was answered. Or rather it wasn´t. The phone had obviously been picked up but there was no answer, not the least.

"Is this Lexie Johnson´s place?" Levon tried.

Still nothing. "Could I perhaps speak to Joe LaFiamma?" Levon felt the fear, he had until now pushed aside, resurface.

Then there was a sound, a more or less regular succession of knocks. Levon strained to make sense of it. Then he had the impression that the sound developed into a pattern. The knocking seemed to repeat itself. First he didn´t get it. Three knocks in quick succession, then another three further apart, then again three quick ones. Then a long pause. It started again, three quick, three slow, three quick.

Levon suddenly understood: this was the International Morse code, the SOS code, a cry for help. Someone needed help. "Listen, I´m on my way, I won´t be long now," Levon nervously shouted into the mouthpiece, as if his own loudness could compensate for the lack of response on the other end of the line. The knocking started all over again, confirming that he had interpreted the signal correctly. "Hang on in there, Joe, I won´t be long now."

Levon hung up the phone and ran back to the Jimmy.

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"What did you expect? I needed some time to think about us. And by the time I started to feel sorry I had left you, you were already threatening me with your phone call and by sending me that cut up lingerie. Of course I was afraid to call you after that," Lexie said in her most convincing tone. "I thought it was futile to seek reconciliation."

All of a sudden Jake looked insecure. He had been so sure that Lexie was leading him on. But looking at her earnest and calm face now he remembered how much he had loved her, how proud he had been to win her over at the beginning of their relationship. She was beautiful, exactly the kind of woman a man would sport in order to boost his ego. Not that he needed any such thing, but it was nice nonetheless.

There was, however, a rest of doubt nagging him. "What about the guy who´s staying with you?"

"Joe?" Lexie opted for the truth. "Oh, he´s a friend of a friend and he needed some help after a loss and a place to stay for three weeks. And in return he helped me sort out my grandmother´s house and garden." She was surprised by her own audacity. "Unfortunately he fell ill, otherwise he would already have left by now. You saw that we don´t sleep in the same room, didn´t you? Don´t deny you looked through all the rooms. I know you did when you left the note on the kitchen table."

Of course he knew that she had read the note. That had been his intention and he had written the note to scare her. But now he felt strangely guilty, like he had been caught in the act. Somehow she had managed to turn the situation around and he wasn´t even aware of it.

"Do you mind?" She pointed with her chin towards her bound hands indicating that he should untie her. Reluctantly he stepped closer and crouched down behind her, fumbling with the rope and finally unknotting it.

She brought her arms to the front of her body and rubbed her hurting wrists. He was still kneeling behind her and she turned around and straddled the chair, pulled him close and kissed him.

His reaction was impulsive. He put his arms around her and kissed her back, passionately and tender, like on the very first day she had moved in with him, as if nothing had happened between then and now.

Lexie was repulsed and at the same time she was scared shitless. But with an iron will her mind resorted to the ancient chant of strength her granny had taught her. It was the only way she could keep her composure.

She did not break the kiss immediately. Only when he could no longer interpret her withdrawal as the repulsive reaction it was, she pulled back just a bit and smiled at him. She could see that he was like melting wax in her hand. "Why don´t we order something to eat? I´m starving. And then we slip under the covers and celebrate our reconciliation."

"Uh, yeah, sounds great," he said, his brain clouded with hormones. "We could have our favorite pizza, just as we used to."

"Great," Lexie reached for the phone. Then she hesitated and winked at him. "Do you mind taking a shower before we hit the hay? You know I normally don´t mind a good manly fragrance…" Her hand went up to brush down the side of his jaw and he caught her wrist, turned her hand over and kissed her palm.

"Sure, honey, your wish is my command. But don´t go running, you hear?" He got up and headed for the door, checked that it was looked, then did the same to the window.

"Of course not, don´t you worry," she said with a smile, though her inside almost twisted with the effort to keep up appearances.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

There was nothing he could do now but wait. Levon had said he would be coming soon. Joe curled up on the couch and drew up the blanket. He closed his eyes. His temples were pounding and he felt that the fever had gone up a bit again. Despite the cover he shivered.

A few minutes passed and he was about to nod off, when the phone started him up and sent his heart racing. He reached for the receiver.

"Hello, I´d like to order something." Joe recognized Lexie´s voice at once and was totally flabbergasted. She didn´t know that he had lost his voice, what was he to do? But she seemed not in the least irritated by his lack of response.

"A large pizza Quatro Staggione and a small pizza Diavolo. And if you could spare a bottle of red wine, that would be great."

Joe swallowed, desperately trying to utter a tone, yet unable to even aspirate a whisper.

"Oh yes, of course." Lexie´s voice sounded a bit too loud and overly cheerful. "My name is Lexie Johnson, I want this delivered to the City Motel on Madison Avenue, room no. 25. Great, thanks."

There was a crackle and the line went dead.

Joe was dumbstruck. It took him a moment to grasp the implication. He tried to concentrate. Lexie had told him exactly where she was and she had given him a first-hand excuse to come directly to her door to rescue her. He got hold of a notepad and jotted down the address Lexie had named.

He stood up and looked around in search of a map or a phone book. On the side-board he came across a manila envelope with his own name on it. He picked it up but knew at once that this was not the time to open his mail and read it. Heedlessly he dropped the envelope and continued to hunt for a map. Finally he came across a map in one of the drawers. It didn´t take Joe long to find the street where the motel was supposed to be. Then the thought of Levon crossed his mind and Joe became aware that there wasn´t enough time to wait for his partner. But he could give Levon a message where to find them. Quickly he jotted down the address a second time, scribbled a message for the Texan and deposited it on the small table in the hall.

Then he hurried to his room, slid into a pair of jeans and put on a sweat shirt. In passing he snatched Lexie´s car key and wallet from beside the note he had written for Levon and hurried out the door, pulling it shut behind him.

The draft sweeping through the broken door lifted the small slip of paper with Joe´s handwriting and it slowly sailed towards the floor, turned over and came to rest face down under the coatrack.

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Lexie locked the bathroom door. After Jake had showered she had casually stated that she wanted to freshen up as well. Closing the door behind herself and instantly locking it gave her a feeling of security, however false it might be. She was out of Jake´s reach and that was good. For now.

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Lexie´s acquiescent behavior made Jake feel uneasy. He had welcomed her physicsal approach and closeness, had felt almost drunken with her body scent and warmth. But come to think of it this was not what he had expected. It was greatly satisfying, that was for sure, but that was just not Lexie´s style. She was a headstrong woman and normally far from being acquiescent. There had to be more to it.

He rubbed his wet hair with the towel and strolled around the room, thinking. She had far too quickly taken refuge to the bathroom the second he had exited the steaming room. And he had clearly heard the clicking of the lock. She had locked herself in so that he couldn´t get to her. The thought of not being able to get to her instantly fueled the anger that had temporarily retreated. What if she was leading him on, was trying to play some game with him, just to get away?

On a whim he picked up the phone and pushed the redial button.

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Joe rested his head against the steering wheel with a moan. Already twice he had lost his way trying to get to the motel Lexie had named. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe the pounding headache away. Chills and heatwaves were torturing him in turn and for a moment he wished he could just lie down somewhere and forget about the whole thing.

But he couldn´t. He couldn´t leave Lexie to her fate. Briefly he considered to turn to the police for help. But he couldn´t speak, he didn´t have any identification to prove he was a cop and they would probably think he was having some kind of feverish hallucination.

Slowly Joe regained his composure. When he lifted his head, he realized that he had come to halt right behind an intersection on what obviously was a main road. Some hundred yards ahead he could make out a pizza shop. That was a godsend. He slowly steered the car back into the lane and crept towards the shop, finding a parking space right in front of the place. Relieved he turned off the ignition and got out, seizing Lexie´s purse from the passenger seat.

There was only one customer in the shop and he was about to pay for the pizza in the cardboard box that stood on the counter. Then it was Joe´s turn and he pointed at the stack of boxes behind the counter and lifted two finger of his hand, indicating the desired number. He had a fair command of the sign language used by the deaf and he had used it on other occasions. But right now he decided to keep things as simple as possible.

The guy in charge of the shop looked at him with a frown. Then in turn he pointed at the menu displayed in large letters behind him on the wall. "Which do you want?"

Joe shook his head, again pointing at the stack of boxes.

"Now, listen, this is not a shop for packaging…"

Joe pulled a twenty dollar note out of the purse and lay it on the counter.

The pizza seller grinned. "Well, that´s a generous amount for two empty boxes…" but his jaw dropped when Joe pointed at the cap he was wearing. It was bright red printed with the logotype _Jerry´s Fabulous Pizza_ above the shield. "No way, this is new…"

Another ten dollar note landed on the counter. Joe´s face grew impatient and he repeated pointing at the boxes and cap in turn. Reluctantly his counterpart placed two boxes on the counter, then slowly pulled off his cap and lay it on top.

Joe grabbed the pile, turned on a dime and was out of the shop in the blink of an eye.

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Levon brought the car to a screeching halt in front of Lexie´s house. At once he reproached himself for acting so carelessly. He knew something was amiss. That much he had concluded from the encrypted SOS message on the phone. As if to make up for the lapse he held back and cautiously scanned the front of the house.

At once he noticed that a curtain was being blown in and out of the window cutout in the upper part of the front door. The glass pane was obviously missing, a sure sign that something was wrong. Levon checked his holster and revolver. His gaze went along the front of the house. Everything was quiet. Other than the missing window pane he couldn't detect anything unusual.

Levon got out of the car and cautiously approached the front door, then changed his mind and rounded the house. The backdoor was looked and showed no signs of a forced entry. Back at the front Levon knocked loudly and waited for a moment. Then he called out into the void behind the hole in the door. When there was no reaction he turned the doorknob.

Opening the door wide enough to enter the house, he stepped over the shards of glass that indicated the glass pane had been violently pushed inward. He quickly went from one room to the next only to realize that the house was empty. Both bedrooms were deserted, Joe´s bed was in total disarray, and an empty IV bag was lying in front of the bed on the floor. In the bathroom he came across the traces of blood on the bath rug. The remains of the band aid, however, made Levon conclude that whoever had been injured, had properly seen to the wound, perhaps a cut caused by one of the shards of glass.

Levon stood in the middle of the living room, totally at a loss. He had expected to find Lexie and Joe here, or at least one of them. He looked around but he had no clue what could have happened here. The discarded IV bag proved that Joe was sick, Joanne had relayed Lexie´s message about the strep throat infection. But where were they? Who had answered the phone? Had it really been Joe? And why hadn´t he said anything? Who had issued the SOS message? What did it all mean?

Even a repeated examination of the house yielded no further facts.

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After another ten-minute drive Joe at last reached the motel. He parked the car in a vacant space in front of the building and tried to gauge the situation. The motel was a two-story complex. The room number Lexie had named was on the ground floor. As in all other rooms the curtains and the window were shut. There was no indication that the room was occupied.

Though he had difficulties to concentrate, Joe mentally went over the situation: Lexie wasn´t here of her own accord. Her house had been broken into and her ex, who had mistreated and threatened her, had abducted her. But she had phoned, had been able to give him a coded message, a message which had even included a possible escape way.

Lexie had said that her ex-boyfriend had beaten her. Guys who mistreated their women normally were violent when they dealt with an inferior victim. Facing an equal they usually backed down pretty quickly.

His training as a cop gave Joe a clear advantage over any abductor. Even though he wasn´t carrying a weapon right now, it shouldn´t be too difficult to overpower the guy. And if that wasn´t possible right away he could always talk the guy out of it. Joe had done that on countless occasions. He could talk a suicidal person out of jumping off a rooftop. He could talk a kidnapper out of killing his hostage.

He had been the best at talking in his final class at the academy.

Joey was very good at talking. At sixteen he had even talked his uncle into buying him a sports car.

But it was downright frustrating, because today he couldn´t talk at all.

He couldn´t utter a single tone.

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Levon couldn´t hold himself back and furiously kicked at the small table in the hall. He hadn´t been able to find out what had happened at Lexie´s place and he had no idea where Joe and Lexie might be. All he knew was that they were probably in trouble and one of them or even both needed help.

Frustrated he looked down to the ground. The small table had moved an inch and he could see a piece of paper protruding from underneath the piece of furniture. He bent down to pick it up and turned it over.

With a gasp of surprise he took in the message in his hand.

 _ **Lexie´s been kidnapped by her ex-boyfriend. He´s holding her at the City Motel on Madison Avenue, room 25. I´m going there, will try to free her.**_

Now Levon really lost his temper. He kicked at the table again and cursed loudly. "What does the fool think he´s doing?" Deep down inside, however, he knew that his anger was an outlet for his own fear for his childhood friend and his sick partner.

With some effort he pulled himself together, stuffed the note into his jacket pocket and ran out, slamming the damaged door shut behind him.

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Joe drew the cap deep down to hide his face and knocked on the door with the number 25. On his left palm he was balancing the empty pizza boxes. He tried to concentrate on the door, but his vision blurred and he closed his eyes to chase away the dancing dark spots.

Then the door opened as expected and a guy of medium height with a clean shaved face made a step backwards and pointed into the room. "Great, could you put them down on the table, please? How much do I owe you?"

Joe stepped inside, quickly taking in the interior. Where was Lexie? The man was alone and for an instant Joe feared to have knocked on the wrong door. Of course the notion was foolish, there couldn´t be two rooms expecting a delivery of pizza and he remembered the room number alright. He needed to keep up his disguise, but he hadn´t really considered how to handle his muteness. He neither had the notepad at hand to write down the price for the delivery nor had he thought of taking the purse with him to pretend he wanted to collect the money. Instead he had left both in Lexie´s car. He put the boxes down on the small coffee table and held up eight fingers using both hands.

The guy didn´t make a move to pay and when Joe looked more closely he noticed his counterpart was smirking smugly. They were still separated by about three steps and when Joe decided that this was as good a time as any and made a step forward, he was looking into the barrel of a small but no less threatening firearm that Jake had produced out of the blue.

"Did you really think I wouldn´t notice you don´t have anything in those boxes?" The sarcastic laugh rang loudly in Joe´s ears. "I´ve never eaten a pizza that smelled of nothing." Jake pointed the gun to the back of the room. "Get into the bathroom!"

For a second Joe considered to kick the gun from Jake´s hand, but as he lifted his right foot to carry out the action, his knees almost buckled and he had to set the foot back down to regain his balance.

Jake made a quick step out of Joe´s reach. "Looks like you want to die with her tonight. She´s already waiting for you." He pointed at the half open bathroom door again.

Joe felt a drop of sweat run down his spine. His heart was pounding way too fast and all of a sudden he realized how foolish it had been to face Jake alone. A vague thought of Levon coming to their aid crossed his mind, then he stepped into the doorframe of the bathroom as if in a daze and felt Jake´s boot painfully connect with his backside. He stumbled into the small room, almost smashing into the wash basin. Landing on his knees his hands held onto the rim of the porcelain.

For an instant he had to squeeze his eyes shut and wait for the violently reeling room to calm down again. From behind he recognized the metallic clicking as the door was being locked while there was a muffled sob right beside him.

He looked up and there was Lexie. Under her right eye a colorful bruise was forming. From her right nostril a trickle of blood was seeping and it mingled with the tears she had wiped away with the back of her hand. Seeing her like this made Joe´s stomach tie in knots and he reached out to touch her unblemished left cheek.

Instinctively she shrank away from the movement but then got hold of his hand and squeezed it. "I´m ok, really, it´s nothing," she whispered, desperately trying to keep it together.

Seeing her lower lip tremble, Joe knew at once that she was far from it. He moved to sit beside her and put his arm around her shoulder. As she started to cry again he couldn´t help but close his eyes. Though he tried to stay awake, it took less than five minutes for the feverish slumber to claim him. The last thing his consciousness registered was the warm hand in his and he thought how good it felt to have Julia right here by his side again.

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Levon knew that he didn´t have much time. He had a fairly good idea where the motel was and as he sped along the empty streets he reached for his radio. He turned the dial and it didn´t take him long to find the frequency used by the local police.

"HPD officer requests assistance…" he placed his message. His call was answered immediately. Levon quickly described the alleged hostage situation, his own involvement. The local police assured him of their full support and asked him not to go in single-handed.

As Levon approached the location of the motel he could hear the wailing sirens of several patrol teams closing in from the opposite direction.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"This is the police! Come out of the house with your hands over your head!" the megaphone blared loudly. The front of the motel was illuminated blindingly by the floodlight that had been quickly installed.

Levon and the lieutenant from the local police were standing in the shelter of a patrol car, nervously watching the door to room number 25. Levon and the police team had almost simultaneously reached the location. The occupants of the other rooms had been removed at once. Of the kidnapper there hadn´t been any sign so far.

"Come on out there and no one will be harmed! Surrender your weapons!" Lieutenant Pritchard shouted into the megaphone. He and Levon exchanged glances. After another three minutes the lieutenant beckoned his men to gather around him: "We´ll go in." He looked at Levon. "I can´t let you go in there first, Sergeant Lundy." Levon nodded. If this were Houston he would handle it the same way.

Five heavily armed officers with Kevlar vests approached the door to the room, two of them carrying a battering ram. The door gave way after the first use of the heavy device. Levon´s felt the familiar prickling of tension as the uniformed men stormed the motel room. Only this time the worry for his two close friends made him silently pray that they were alright.

Before Levon could even enter after the uniforms, the men came out again. "There´s no one inside the room, but the bathroom door is locked."

"Let me have a look," Levon pushed past them into the room. He crouched down in front of the bathroom door, pressing his ear against the wood. He thought he could discern a faint crying. "Hello, this is the police. Anyone in there?" He waited. "I am opening the door now," he shouted, trying not to sound in the least threatening.

"Who are you?" came the timid question from behind the locked door.

"Levon Lundy, Lexie, are you in there? Are you ok?"

"Yes, please let us out," he recognized Lexie´s voice, pleading.

Levon turned the knob and the lock was released. He opened the door and his eyes fell on the two huddled figures wedged into the narrow space between the sink and the shower tub. He could see that Lexie had been crying, was in fact crying now, even if it was with relief right now. He pulled Lexie up and took in the vivid bruise and the blood smeared across her face underneath her nose. He cupped her face.

"Do you need a doctor?"

"I am a doctor," she said with a half-hearted smile and Levon rolled his eyes in reply.

"What´s with Joe?" Levon kneeled down in front of the unresponsive body leaning against the side of the shower tub. "Is he injured?" He pulled the cap from Joe´s head and touched the dark-haired man´s cheek. At once he could feel the sheen of sweat and the feverish heat of Joe´s body.

The uniformed officers charged into the bathroom: "Do you need a paramedic?"

Lexie shook her head. "No, we´re alright."

But Levon wasn´t so sure. "Could do no harm, I guess." He was giving Joe a light shake.

Joe´s eyes snapped open, but with a moan he closed them again. Levon wanted to pull him up, but Joe tried to wriggle out of Levon´s grasp. Two paramedics pushed Levon aside, skillfully pulled Joe up, carried him out of the bathroom and laid him on the bed. After a short examination they wrapped him in a blanket. "He isn´t injured, but he has a nasty fever. We could take him to a hospital," one of paramedics proposed.

Joe sat up on the bed, vehemently shaking his head. Lexie was at his side immediately, holding him down. "I´m his doctor, I´ll take care of him, he just needs some antibiotics."

Lieutenant Pritchard stepped into the room. "I´m sorry to disturb your reunion. But I would like to take your statements at the station, if you don´t mind."

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Another three hours later and after signing their statements, the three friends were released from the care of the Texan police. Levon pulled out of the parking lot at the police station. Lexie was in the passenger seat, Joe, wrapped in a blanket, dozing in the back seat.

The ride to Lexie´s house was short and when Levon brought the car to a halt in front of the small building, she laid her hand on Levon´s arm. The Texan looked at her with a questioning look.

"I can´t…," Lexie´s voice broke. "I can´t stay here, not as long as Jake is out there somewhere."

Levon could understand her. He had seen the shock in her eyes and he knew that she wouldn´t suffer to stay in the house she had been abducted from. "I could take you to a hotel," he suggested. "But I can´t stay with you for more than a day. I need to get back to work." He thought of Joanne and her rejection of his leave.

Lexie shook her head. "Is there no other way?"

"Well, perhaps you could come to Houston with me. Joe will probably need someone to look after him for a few days. Both of you could stay at my place and you wouldn´t be alone." Levon tried to gauge her reaction.

Lexie thought for a moment, then both of them simultaneously looked towards the backseat, where Joe was sleeping.

Lexie nodded. "Let´s get inside to fetch Joe´s things. I need to take some of my stuff too."

Levon smiled at her. "Ok, that´s settled then."

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They didn´t speak much on the ride back to Houston. Levon knew that Lexie had a hard time coping with the shock. In order to draw her out of her shell Levon tried some small talk. After a few minutes, however he couldn´t hold back what had been foremost on his mind for days. "How is Joe doing?"

Lexie looked over her shoulder, making sure that Joe was asleep. "It´s confidential, I can´t talk about it, Levon."

"I need to know if Joe is over the depression. I want him back as my partner on the job and I can´t risk him doing something foolish again."

"Well, you could have told me that Joe tried to kill himself. It was pretty risky to keep that from me," Lexie said, not without a slight hint of reproach.

"I knew you´d find that out yourself," Levon countered.

A long silence ensued. When Levon had almost given up on an answer, Lexie suddenly spoke in a quiet voice: "Joe worked hard to get to grips with the situation and if he hadn´t caught that fierce infection, he would probably be over the whole thing by now."

"And Julia, how does he feel about her now?"

"From what he said I take it he revised his view of her. I guess at last he realized he had to take her down from the pedestal he had put her on all those years ago."

"So you think he´s over it?"

From out of nowhere the image of the two kids in Joe´s sub consciousness appeared before Lexie´s mental eye. In a rare moment of second sight, a gift she had inherited from her granny, she suddenly knew with absolute certainty that the younger of the two kids was Joe. Yet she knew she couldn´t reveal it to either man. It was none of Levon´s business. And if she spoke to Joe about it, she would mess with his fate in a way that was strictly contrary to her professional ethics.

Against her will she resumed speaking and she felt like the words were not her own: "There is something in Joe´s past that he is not aware of."

Levon looked at her questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"It´s something that happend when he was a child."

"What happened?"

"I don´t know any details, but such things often have a great influence on a person´s whole life."

They fell silent again. Lexie felt awkward for having given Joe´s secret away, a secret he wasn´t even aware of.

Levon wondered what the allusion might imply. "Don´t you think he needs to know?" he asked after a while.

"I don´t have a right to mess around with Joe´s spirit," Lexie replied softly. "But it might be good if he had someone to watch over him."

That was something Levon was already doing, so he resolved to just keep up the habit. Besides, there was no use in dwelling on a vague notion.

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For the past five minutes Joe had been straining to hear what was being said in the front of the Jimmy. He didn´t much like to be the subject of such confidential conversation. He tried to make sense of what Lexie had said. But after a while his feverish brain refused to cooperate and he drifted back to sleep.

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The next two days passed in pretty much the same fashion: Joe stayed in bed most of the time, and with the help of the antibiotics he gradually improved. The infection slowly retreated from his vocal cords and his voice returned. Levon had had to return to work and Lexie tried to keep herself from brooding by managing the household and taking care of Joe.

On the second day Lexie rummaged through her bag and came across the manila envelope, the mail Levon had forwarded to her house for Joe. She took it over to the guestroom and when she found Joe awake, she handed it to him.

"I´m sorry I kept this from you. Levon sent it but I never got a chance to give it to you."

Joe ripped it open, finding another envelope inside the first, from which an issue of the Chicago Tribune emerged. Joe looked at it with an expression of anxious anticipation. Lexie could see how he tensed up. He had told her about the coded message that had passed between Julia and him. And Lexie also knew about Julia´s promise to send him a similar message to let him know she was alright. When he started to meticulously search the paper for such a message she quietly retreated from the room.

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In the evening, when Levon returned from his shift and entered the guestroom, Joe had scattered the paper all over the floor. Presuming that Joe wasn´t in the mood for company Levon turned to slip out again, but Joe called after him.

"Levon, could you do me a favor?" Joe sat up and patted the edge of the bed invitingly.

"Sure." Levon sat down on the bed and took the folded newspaper page the Italian was holding out at him.

"Could you ask Carol to do some research for me on the computer? About these books?" Joe pointed at a small ad in the _**Buy and Sell Miscellaneous**_ column. Levon read the ad without making much sense of it.

 _ **WANTED**_ \- Books, regardless of edition or condition, will pay generously: _**The Castillion Balzetti**_ – An Archeological Guide to the Ancient Tuscan Monument; _**The Lost Jewel**_ – A Psychological View on the Loss of Innocence from Childhood through Adolescence to Adulthood; _**And Forgive Us Our Depts**_ – The Concept of Guilt and Absolution in the Catholic Religion; Chiffre GA581009G

"What do you want Carol to find out about those books?"

Joe blushed in embarrassment, as if asking for the impossible. "Well, anything actually, like when they were published, if they are still available on the market or if they are available from libraries, any such things."

Levon nodded and put the newspaper page into his jacket pocket.

"I need this back, you hear?" Joe said anxiously.

"Of course, don´t you worry," Levon said with a smile.

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"Well, I can´t find anything about any of these books," Carol mumbled under her breath, typing the various titles into the computer. "What does Joey want with them anyway?"

Hearing his own phone ring, Levon left his post behind Carol and strolled over to his own desk to answer the call. To his surprise it was Lieutenant Pritchard.

"Sergeant Lundy, good to have found you at last. How are you doing?"

"Thanks Lieutenant Prichard, I´m fine. What can I do for you?" Levon was genuinely pleased. Cooperation with the lieutenant and his men had been pleasant, despite the reason for their encounter.

"I am looking for Miss Johnson. I already sent a team over to her house but they found the place boarded up." The lieutenant vented his frustration.

"Yeah, sorry Lieutenant, we should have notified you. Miss Johnson didn´t want to stay at her place all on her own. So I invited her to stay at my place here in Houston."

"Oh, that´s good news, I was beginning to worry. I have some news for her." Pritchard was considering whether to use Levon as an envoy or whether to break the news to Lexie personally. It didn´t take long for him to make up his mind. "Well, I think I might as well tell you and you may relay the news to Miss Johnson."

"No problem," Levon agreed. "Shoot."

"Well, we identified the prints of Miss Johnson´s abductor, and guess what?"

"What?" Levon asked, not wanting to put the lieutenant off.

"The prints we took at the motel identified him as a John D. Matheus, a guy with an APB on his head in four states, all for domestic violence, harassment, stalking and…" not wanting to spoil the climax, the lieutenant put in a theatrical pause,"…manslaughter or even murder in two cases. He killed two of his girl-friends, for no other reason than morbid jealousy."

Levon whistled. Looked like Lexie and Joe had had a lucky escape. "Do you know where the guy might be hiding now?"

"Actually, I do. He was picked up by a patrol team last night on account of excessive speeding. The colleagues just wanted to check his documents but he was totally paranoid and thought they wanted to take him in. He drew a weapon and they shot him in self-defense."

They both fell silent for a moment before Levon resumed speaking. "I will let Miss Johnson know. Do you need her to get back to you?"

"No, that won´t be necessary. With the death of the perpetrator the case will be closed. We will inform the women Matheus harassed that they don´t have to fear him any longer. The relatives of the two deceased women will also be informed of his death. But Miss Johnson needn´t contact us, for her the story has come to a good ending. She needn´t bother to call back."

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Jake´s death was a hard blow for Lexie. First she couldn´t even say why. She should have been relieved, now she didn´t have to fear him anymore. Jake, or rather John D. Matheus couldn´t harm her anymore.

But deep down inside she was shocked and she felt foolish, foolish for being such a lousy judge of character. She, the highly educated psychiatrist with the cultural background of a medicine woman. It was downright ridiculous. She couldn´t help but feel ashamed. Her only excuse for her error in judgment was her own infatuation at the time Jake had ensnared her.

Levon and Joe could clearly see the sudden change in Lexie after she learnt about Jake´s death. But neither of them knew how to help her.

Lexie´s reaction seemed drastic but to her it was the necessary consequence to the event: she withdrew from their company. For three days she hardly left her room, she fastened, just drank tea and she chanted. Not aloud, it was just a mental exercise. She needed to get in touch with the spirits of her ancestors. She needed to atone, to forgive herself and to mend. The wound was deep and it would take a while to heal thoroughly.

Joe, too, was facing some obstacles on his road to full recovery. With the help of modern medicine his body had overcome the infection. The fever was gone and his voice had returned. Yet he felt a strange emptiness in his heart. It wasn´t like the despondency and depression he had experienced before. It was more that he felt he was standing at a crossroad and he didn´t know which way to turn. Going back was impossible, and he knew he had to leave the past behind.

For a few days the suspense in the little ranch house seemed to grow, and whenever Levon returned home from work he wondered what was going on. As the weekend drew near the tension became almost palpable. Something was bound to happen – but Levon had no idea what.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"I´m going back to stay in my granny´s house," Lexie burst out at the dinner table Thursday night.

Levon and Joe looked at her in surprise.

"There´s no need, you can stay here as long as you like…" Levon put down the fork and knife and gave Joe a sidelong look. The Italian´s jaw had dropped open. After an instant he closed his mouth again, obviously unwilling to comment on Lexie´s announcement, but the tight set of his jaw radiated nervous tension and disapproval.

"Look," Lexie´s gaze went from one man to the other. "It was really very kind of you to have me here." She wiped her mouth with the napkin. "But I know I have to face it, I have to go back to that house and face my fear. And it isn´t even a realistic fear, now that Jake is dead."

Levon nodded. Her reactions were very comprehensible, both, the rejection to stay in that house on her own, as well as her wish to go back there now. "Well, it´s not like you were a burden, not with all the doctoring you did and all. I think I´m not the only one here who appreciated having you around." He laughed and looked at Joe for approval.

Joe met neither his nor Lexie´s eyes. Instead he continued pushing the vegetables around his plate.

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Friday came and at last Levon returned home with the newspaper page and Carol´s research results. When he entered the house he almost fell over Lexie´s travel bag. So she had already packed. He felt a pang of sadness to see her go and at the same time he wondered whether Joe´s ostentatious indifference was perhaps just a symptom of that same notion.

Levon found his partner on the porch swing, gloomily staring into the sunset. Levon sat down, retrieved the newspaper page from his jacket pocket and handed it to Joe.

The Chicagoan didn´t look up. "What did Carol find out?" he asked without much enthusiasm.

"Well, she asked if you were leading her on," Levon replied with a grin.

Joe´s head came up defiantly. "How´s that?"

"She said there wasn´t anything to find out about those books."

Joe frowned. "Nothing at all?"

"Yeah, nothing at all, none of these books exist. The only thing she found out refers to that castle…that…" Levon looked at the ad. "Castill…"

"Castillion Balzetti, what did she find out?" All of a sudden Joe became uncharacteristically agitated.

"Yeah well, that castle, it really exists and it is also known by a different, a rather funny name… now where did I put that piece of paper she gave me…"

Joe was tempted to grab Levon by his collar to shake the information out of him, only an enormous amount of self-control held him back.

"Ah, here we are: it´s also called the castle Dio Sol Sa, whatever that means."

Joe could hardly breathe, all that penned up tension was suddenly seeking an outlet. "She…she…" he stammered, "…she is still…" he was breathing frantically now and Levon briefly feared his partner was having a panic attack "…she´s alive, oh God, she´s alive…Jules is alive…" Then Joe was overcome with raw emotions and he started to sob, the newspaper clutched tightly in his shaking hand.

Levon got up and quietly left for the barn. He knew that Joe needed some privacy.

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"Please don´t leave tonight."

Lexie looked up in surprise, taking in Joe´s red-rimmed eyes and slightly blotchy face. She had at once discerned the heartfelt plea behind his appeal. Not knowing what had happened on the porch she hesitated before carefully choosing her words. "Would tomorrow be any different from tonight?" She calmly continued to set the kitchen table for what she had planned to be their last collective meal.

"Yes, it would. I need to talk to you about something that´s really very important," Joe explained earnestly.

Lexie thought back to the first days when Joe had stayed with her, seeing before her mental eye his refusal to open up, his rejection of any support and help, his desire to leave as soon as possible.

Now all that seemed forgotten. She could hardly believe he was openly admitting to a weakness and asking her to stay and discuss something that seemed to be of the utmost importance to him. What had happened that had upset him so much? But whatever it was, who was she to reject him, to withhold her professional and perhaps also personal advice from him?

"Ok, but we should have dinner first, it´s about ready to be served."

Joe shook his head. "Oh, I´m not really hungry, I think I might skip dinner," He made an attempt at hiding the inner turmoil that had so thoroughly liquidated his appetite.

Lexie eyed him suspiciously, clearly reading him. "Ok, I´ll put everything into the oven to keep it warm." She started to transfer the dishes and bowls into the warm oven. "Is Levon still taking care of Fooler?"

Joe nodded and got hold of her hand, pulling her towards the backdoor. "Come on out, we could sit on the porch, then we´ll see when he comes in."

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Joe had read the ad over and over again. Thanks to Carol´s research he now knew this was the long desired coded message from Julia. She had used the secret and magic motto of their childhood, the name of that tiny hidden castle deep in the woods of Tuscany from the story Joe´s granny had always told them: Dio Sol Sa, only God knows. It was the name of their dream location where they would happily live ever after, like in a fairy tale. But life wasn´t a fairy tale and there hadn´t been a future for them as lovers, not in an Italian mob community, and certainly not on the opposite side of the law. Their love story had been just as impossible as that of Romeo and Julia, though luckily not as deadly so far.

Lexie let all that information sink in. She felt Joe´s emotions boil close to the surface and understood his agitation, as he explained it all over again. His relief was quite obvious, yet he didn´t seem as overjoyed as one might have expected.

"I am so glad for you," she said with a smile. "I could have left and never might have learnt that Julia is still alive. Thanks for telling me."

"I would have phoned you to let you know," Joe assured her. "But that´s not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Ok, what else could there be?" Lexie feigned ignorance.

"There is more to that message…" he looked at the ad again, "there are two more books she refers to, and I know they are no real books. So she wants to tell me something with it…"

Lexie read the ad again, already having a pretty clear understanding of Julia´s message.

" ** _WANTED_** \- Books, regardless of edition or condition, will pay generously: **_The Castillion Balzetti_** – An Archeological Guide to the Ancient Tuscan Monument; **_The Lost Jewel_** – A Psychological View on the Loss of Innocence from Childhood through Adolescence to Adulthood; **_And Forgive Us Our Depts_** – The Concept of Guilt and Absolution in the Catholic Religion; Chiffre GA581009G"

But she couldn´t just relay its meaning directly to Joe, he had to figure this out himself. "Joe, you need to find that out for yourself, you are the person who knows Julia best." Lexie felt like she was talking to a school kid who wasn´t able to work out an arithmetic problem without the help of his teacher.

"I thought you wanted to help me," Joe said, disappointed.

"I do, but I can´t see inside your heart," she said in an encouraging tone. "Come on, give it a try." She felt a bit odd because strictly speaking she had looked deeply inside his heart and his spirit. Joe just wasn´t aware of it.

He hesitated, then drew a deep breath as if gathering strength. "I know this is like a picture. The jewel is a symbol for what we had together, and I know we lost it, our love and our future together." Naming it so directly hurt like hell, he couldn´t go on speaking and fell silent for an instant. "We lost our innocence, she is right," he added in a whisper.

Lexie said nothing, she knew he could do it alone, and he needed to face the truth behind Julia´s message in order to go on with his life. He had been stuck in that limbo of uncertainty and depression far too long.

"I guess she doesn´t just mean the sexual connotation of the term _Loss of Innocence._ " He blushed as he gave her a boyish grin. "We were foolish to think we would be together all our lives and live happily ever after. I guess we finally grew up." He swallowed hard and looked away in an attempt to hide it.

"Most people have to abandon their childhood dreams in the end, that´s what growing up is all about," Lexie tried not to sound like a shrink but she knew her words sounded hollow.

"Yeah, thanks for your help…" he was about to get up, but she pulled him back down onto the swing.

"We´re not through yet, what about the rest?"

"You mean the part with the _Guilt and Absolution_? Well that´s pretty clear," he said, slightly frustrated by the possible implication.

"Huh-huh, is it now?" Her mock disbelief made him furrow his brow.

"Yeah, she wants me to know that she has forgiven me. I jilted her and she´s no longer holding that against me," he stated quite matter-of-factly.

"That´s only one possible meaning," Lexie felt like she was pulling theeth.

Joe looked annoyed. "Ok, she got back at me, perhaps I need to forgive her as well." He made a dismissive gesture.

"And…?"

"Now, listen, I know I´m not as smart as you…"

Lexie laughed out loud at his remark before getting serious again. "What about the guilt and the absolution?"

He looked surprised. "Well, I guess now I know she is alive and well, I can stop feeling guilty." The guilt had weighed him down for months and it had almost made him kill himself. But strangely the notion still lingered like a bitter taste in his mouth.

Lexie let him hang onto his thoughts for a while. She knew Joe was still missing a crucial part of Julia´s message. When he failed to resume the thread of their conversation she gave him one last clue.

"Both, you and Julia, are guilty of hurting the other. But both of you do not only need to forgive each other. Most of all you need to forgive yourselves. Joe, **_you_** need to forgive **_yourself_**."

Joe had never seen it this way. But hearing the words he suddenly realized how right she was. He looked up and as his gaze travelled into the far distance, his eyes filled with tears. But much to his surprise his heart suddenly felt lighter than it had in a very long time.

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"Could you lend me some money," Joe asked casually, putting his suitcase down by the front door. "I´d like to call a cab to get home."

Levon sighed inwardly. After Lexie had left and with the prospect of getting back to work on Monday, Joe couldn´t be persuaded to stay for the rest of the week-end. "Why, no point in spending money on something I´d gladly do."

"I know you would. But I want to stop over on the way and I don´t want you to waste your time waiting while I take care of some …business."

Levon cringed. The picture immediately coming to mind was that of Joe secretly meeting a dealer to buy drugs. Levon turned away to hide the expression on his face and picked up his car key. "That don´t make no never mind, I got plenty of time." Inwardly he scolded himself for his suspiciousness. How could he really suspect Joe to endanger the result of the detox and lengthy treatment after all the hardship he had gone through to get back on his feet? Levon shook the feeling and he decided not only to give his partner the benefit of the doubt, but to return to trusting him wholeheartedly. Joe was family and he deserved to be trusted.

Joe blushed but the cause weren´t the emotions playing across Levon´s face. He just didn´t fancy the Texan knowing about a most confidential meeting he was planning to have. But for once he resolved to suffer the breech of privacy, picked up his baggage and trailed along to the Jimmy.

"Where do you want me to take you?" Levon started the engine.

"St. Joseph Church," Joe said, ostentatiously looking out on his side of the car.

"The church on Kane Street?"

"Huh-huh," came the monosyllabic reply.

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Though Levon knew this was none of his business he couldn´t quite suppress his curiosity. When they pulled up in the parking lot of the church with the red brick façade and the large stained glass windows he grabbed his hat from the backseat. "Mind if I take a look?" he asked, his chin pointing at the impressive building.

Joe looked surprised, then shook his head. "No, but you better leave the hat off."

Together they entered the church. Joe headed right for a small built-in booth at the back of the church close to the main gate. He slipped behind the curtain covering its entrance and disappeared. After an instant it hit Levon that this was a confessional box.

Meanwhile Levon´s gaze wandered around the spacious white interior. He had presumed Catholic churches to be dark and pompous, yet this one was airy and filled with sunlight. The gothic arches separated the main nave from the side naves, in which several small altars were each crowned by the statue of a saint. There was only a handful of people in the building and it was very quiet. Levon sat down in the last pew and let the peaceful atmosphere engulf him. Even though he knew that Joe came from a Catholic family, Levon had never considered that his partner might actually practice his faith. But judging from Joe´s behavior, he had probably been here before.

It took some time before the Italian reappeared. At the sight of his partner Levon was tempted to get up, but Joe headed straight into the side nave. He dropped some coins into a box and picked up a candle, lit it and set it on the stand designed to hold the burning candles the visitors devoted to the saints. Then Joe knelt down, crossed himself and apparently started to pray.

Levon sank back against the backrest and diverted his eyes. As he realized why Joe had blushed, Levon felt acutely ashamed. The Italian had not wanted anyone to witness his pious exercise. Still his urge to practice his faith had been stronger and he had overcome his inhibition.

All of a sudden Levon envied Joe for his aptitude to resign himself to God.

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Monday morning again. Joanne yawned. It was early, most members of her team, the Major Crimes Unit, weren´t in yet. The bullpen was still quiet. Within the next hour the usual business of law enforcement would put an end to that. Everything would be back to normal.

The thought lingered on her mind when she saw the doors to the bullpen swing open. Two men walked in: Lundy and LaFiamma.

Joanne smiled. Levon had phoned on Friday, telling her that Joe had received a clean bill of health from his doctor and would be back on the job on Monday. She hadn´t expected Joe to be this early, he was notoriously late, especially on Mondays.

Both detectives approached her open office door and greeted her. Levon turned around and strolled over to the coffee machine while Joe remained standing in the door.

The last time Joanne had seen Joe – seven weeks ago to be exact – he had looked very different. Now she took in his upright and confident stance. Though he probably hadn´t worked out in a while and also had lost some weight it suited him well. His hair was freshly cut and even if he was a bit pale he generally appeared healthy, energetic and at ease. There was, however, a trace of earnestness on his juvenile face and it made him appear more mature.

She beckoned him to close the door and sit down. Without hesitation he complied, made himself comfortable in the chair in front of her desk, pulled a sheet of paper out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her.

It was the letter from a Doctor Johnson, the woman who had called and said she was Joe´s physician at that time. The letter confirmed that Joe was fit for active duty. Joanne laid the letter aside and opened the top drawer of her desk.

With a smile Joe received his HPD badge and his two automatic pistols. He could hardly believe that seven weeks had passed and he was glad to be back.

"I´m very pleased to have you back on the team," Joanne said encouragingly. Though there were many questions she would have liked to ask she kept them to herself. She knew it was none of her business. "Are you ready for a new case?"

The sparkle in Joe´s eyes told her that he was dying to be back on the job. "Sure, Lieutenant."

"Don´t overdo it for the first week, Joey," she laughed mockingly.

"Don´t worry, Lieutenant. By next Monday I´ll be back to oversleeping regularly, I promise." The charming smile and wink that emphasized his answer confirmed that everything was back to normal.

THE END

For those readers who haven´t read **_It´s All Decided For Us_** or who don´t remember exactly the historic background of the **_Castiglion Dio Sol Sa_** , here are again the details: The tiny castle Balzetti, also known as the castle only God knows – il Castiglion che Dio Sol Sa – is situated in total isolation on the banks of the river Merse deep in the woods near the ancient city of Siena ( Tuscany / Italy ) and can only be approached on foot. It was first mentioned in the year 1262. When Joe and Julia were kids his grandmother used to tell them stories about the castle. Thus it became the symbol for their love and also the lovers´ secret code.

Special thanks go to my most faithful reader and now friend **Deeanna1973**. Without her enthusiasm and moral support I would never have finished this story. I am totally awed by the dedication with which she reviewed every single chapter.


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